Dunnyman's Castle

OK, I'm sick of all ya rotten little creeps!

2008-07-15T14:00:00.001-07:00

Business is pretty solid, and I'm quite thankful for it, but not quite so solid as to completely give up the part time gig.
Shit happens.
Last night pushed me closer to murdering 13 teenagers than I've ever gotten.
HOW, you say, can I get pushed like that?
You've obviously never been a waiter.
This group straggles in, a few at a time, and of course, being assigned to my section, I see many, many more desirable guests get seated elsewhere because these teenagers aren't on time. Kinda makes you a bit frustrated to see good tables with people that you know will tip well going to other sections.
I start off, "Hi! Welcome to Our Restaurant my name is...." and I just give up, because not one of the little punks has even deigned to notice me or acknowledge me in any way. "I know you've got some more people on the way, but can I get some drinks going for those of you that are here now?"
Maybe they're all deaf?
No, they're chattering like monkeys.
Ah, I see, I'mthe help. I'm not supposed to be noticed until the little buggers want something.
"Gimme a strawberry lemonade and some free fries!" "I want ranch with those!" "What do you have that's FREE?" "Get me a chocolate shake!"
Apparently the word please is not in their vocabulary.
They bellow and demand their food, treating me as if the Emancipation Proclamation has never been issued. Some have their drinks as they all came in at different times, and as I'm attempting to go over their order to make sure it's correct, the ones that have already placed their orders ignore me. They've already told the slave what they want, they have no more time for me. Even if I'm trying to ensure they get their order correctly. The ones with drinks loudly demand refills while I'm trying to get the last of the food orders, yelling over their friends, and all the while making as much noise as possible, because, when you are a 12-17 year old, the LOUDER you are, the more fun you're having.
Luckily, my kitchen staff is on top of their game!
Here comes the food!
My food runner asks "Who has the plain cheeseburger with cheddar?"
Whoops, he doesn't know he's the help, I jump to help him,
"That's MINE! Give it to me!"
"Well, I took your order, and you ordered something different"
"What is it?!?!?"
"This a cheeseburger with cheddar cheese that's plain."
"That's not mine."
Exactly, you moronic dipshit. You're 16, and you want your food NOW! Even if it isn't your food, you want it NOW!
We eventually get the cheeseburger to the right person, who, by the way, didn't speak up because she was texting. She wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to anything else either.
"I wanted lettuce on this!"
Oooh, well, gosh, when I was reading your order back to you, maybe you could have PUT DOWN THE FUCKING CELL PHONE AND LISTENED TO ME????
You might have caught that.
Normally, I'm more than happy to make fixes if we mess up, not in this case, Miss Detached can jolly well not have any lettuce on her burger. The bitch is most likely going to go puke it up anyways. She's gotta be a size -4, no way in hell is she going to eat and digest all of that.
"Give me a strawberry lemonade refill!"
"You're drinking water, you didn't order a strawberry lemonade."
"Yeah, but she gets free refills! I want hers!"
"Well, the bottomless beverages are for one person only. if you're "taking over", that's um, stealing and trying to cheat the system."
"Oh, I didn't know."
Yeah, right, you little shit. You didn't know. I'll believe that just like Bush knew Saddam had nukes.
The meal continues, they scream, they yell, they demand, and then of course, they ALL have to have separate checks. Possibly maybe all chip in, save the server a little trouble? FUCK THAT. "I want my own check RIGHT NOW! I will not share with ANYONE!"
Well, here you go you little shits, here's your separate checks, all individualized for your pleasure.
"Can we split the onion rings over both of our checks?
"No, you cannot."
"Here, I'm paying for hers anyways."
THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NEED SEPARATE CHECKS?????????? Is it too much fucking trouble to say "Hers and mine go on the same check?"
OK, it looks like they're all paying cash. Swell.
"OK guys, if you're all paying cash, can I have whoever's got closest to exact change to pay first so I don't get wiped out on change?"
One girl opens her wallet to reveal at least 3000.00 in hundreds, a big old stack of them. She fumbles and finds a twenty. Her check is 14.36, OK, not too horrible, and the guy next to her hands me a FUCKING FIFTY. His check is 4.60. Now, this little group of darlings is not going to stiff me,, oh noooo, they'll be more than happy to leave me with bits of change, but can they TELL ME?
Why the hell would they do that?
It might make my job easier.
Every single time I pay cash for anything at a restaurant, I'll say "give me five back" or whatever so the server doesn't have to make perfect change just to have me give it back to them. One of them hands me 11.00 for a check that is 11.49, but tells me her friend is going to give me 12.00 for a check that is 11.59, and I can keep the difference. Except you still owe me money, you stupid bitch. Perhaps when you were texting your little fingers off, you might have used the calculator on your phone? Or been born with a brain that can handle simple math?
I get them all sorted out and with one guy to go, the little prick has been busy, he has folded up his 20 along with his check into this intricate, interlocking folding design that is no bigger than a thumbtack.
"Here you go!" he says with a smirk. "Enjoy your money!"
I lose it.
"Well, gosh, it's been sooo much fun being yelled at by you kids all night, and then you top off the meal by treating me like this. It makes my job so much easier when punks like you who have never earned a dime in your miserable little lives treat working people like shit. Your mommy and daddy have given you anything you've ever wanted, and you can't even treat your fellow human beings with the slightest respect because you're all a bunch of greedy, self centered jerks. Thank you so much for coming in!"
They shuffle out, on their way to the movies, I'm attempting to cool off outside the back door. They WISELY avoid me.
This is the future of our nation?
These kids?
We are soooooo fucked.

Web.com-the WORST HOSTING COMPANY-EVER!

2008-02-28T10:29:00.000-08:00

Where, oh where, do I begin?
I've been with these people for 8+ years, and every single day, it gets worse. E-mail doesn't go where it's supposed to, or doesn't go anywhere at all, their servers break down every 15 minutes, every upgrade crashes the system, etc, etc.
I'm switching.
Why the post?
Because this is a classic case of an American company ruining themselves in an effort to save money by outsourcing.
Their call centers for tech support are in Colombia and the Phillipines.
Never been to Colombia, but much of the Phillipines is a dump, with barely literate people, and in many places, no running water or electricity, so they put a tech center there?
Genius, sheer genius.
"Tank you for calling web.com, may I have domain name?"
"Yes, it's greghopper.com"
"Could you repeat dat for me?"
"Yes, it's greghopper.com"
"I sorry, still not get dat, repeat to me"
"IT IS GREGHOPPER.COM!"
"I sorry, can you repeat again?"
IT IS GREGHOPPER.COM, GREGHOPPER.COM!!!" (this spoken very slowly)
"Can you spell dat for me?"
"Why yes, it is G-R-E-G-H-O-P-P-E-R.-C-O-M"
"Can you spell dat again?"
"IT IS G-R-E-G-H-O-P-P-E-R.-C-O-M! G-R-E-G-H-O-P-P-E-R.-C-O-M! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ME??????"
Oh, that's right, because until this pinhead got the job at the tech center two weeks ago, she had never used anything more complicated than a goat cart. She also began learning the English language at approximately the same time as she started the job, which means her skills are about equal to my cat's.
No offense, I'm sure she's a lovely woman, but she is NOT QUALIFIED TO BE DOING TECH SUPPORT FOR ANYTHING MORE COMPLICATED THAN A WHEELBARROW!!!!
Their corporate headquarters is in Atlanta, but unless you personally have God directing the call, you're not getting through to Atlanta. The underlings are directed to keep the customers away from the people that were raised speaking English. Unless of course, you want to BUY something. THEN they'll talk to you, ask them for help with an issue?
"Let me transfer you."
"If you would like to make another call, please hang up and try again..."
Every fucking time.
If anyone knows where their corporate offices are located in Atlanta, please let me know so I can go beat the crap out of these people for their abject stupidity.
Web.com, the biggest joke on the internet!
Avoid them like the plague.

BUSTED!!!! STEROIDS & BASEBALL!

2007-12-14T12:24:00.001-08:00

Oh my.
The Mitchell Report is in, and it names a lot of names. Don't fret, Barry Bonds is in there a LOT, and so is Roger the Rocket Clemens, two guys who seemed too good to be true, and were. A lot of the Bonds supporters were saying that their man was being targeted unfairly because the brother was black, but now they can shut the hell up. Roger's as white as they come. And he's every bit as dirty and tainted as Barry! Woohoo! Equal opportunity scumbags!!
Can we just take any records set since, say, 1990, and dump 'em?
And if someone cries and says they were clean?
Tell them they weren't.
Because they looked the other way.
They allowed their teammates to pump up on HGH, steroids, etc, etc.
They never said a word.
Silence=Complicity
Got it?
So can we celebrate our home run single season record holder?
God bless ya, Roger Maris!!
All time homer king?
You still the man, Hammering Hank Aaron!
Barry?
Kiss my non-steroid induced ass.
Roger?
Hope you enjoy the shrivelled nutsack.
Now can you overpaid cheating assholes get the hell out of baseball and allow players who play by the rules to be stars?
That will be all.

I'm bored.

2007-09-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

I hope to write something one of these days, but right now, I just can't seem to muster up the energy to give a shit.

Un-American, & Anti-Canadian hatred?

2007-08-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

This...gentleman...(because I don't wanna be rude and call him what he really is)...is Gary Bettman, Commissioner of the NHL.
To be brutally honest, he's been a horrible failure. He's changed the rules, gotten rid of tradition (remember the GREAT division names? they're gone now), expanded, expanded again, and expanded again until he had 30 teams, of which 5 or 6 were any good, ruined any TV exposure the league had, had two lockouts, one of which ruined an entire SEASON, helped send two Canadian teams to those noted hotbeds of hockey in Phoenix and Denver, and well, he's ruined the damn game for a lot of people.

This guy is one of the ones who got good and burned in the new NHL. He's Craig Leipold, the owner of the Nashville Predators. (Remember all those great games throughout hockey history in Nashville? No, because the city has NO hockey history) He estimates he's lost over 70 million dollars running the team. He can't get 14,000 fans a game despite being one of the better teams on the ice. That's because unless it's wearing a cowboy hat and twanging a guitar, no one in Nashville gives a shit. Jim Balsille, the owner of RIM (you know, the guys that make Blackberrys) wants to buy an NHL team very badly. He attempted to buy the Pittsburgh Penguins when no one in their right mind was interested in them, and they had no prospects for a new arena. Bettman and the NHL wanted noooo part of that. "We don't want YOU!" they said. Now Balsille has money, boatloads of it. He can handle the expense of an NHL team just fine. He's also a smart businessman. If you're going to sell a product, you need to be where your CUSTOMERS are. He didn't see Nashville as a great place for hockey. No one goes. No one cares. He did notice that Hamilton, Ontario cares a LOT. Might they be interested in supporting an NHL team?
Apparently they were. Balsille started taking deposits for season tickets and got three to five thousand people to pony up without there being an actual team yet. That's a pretty sure sign of interest.
Enter Gary Bettman.
"You can't MOVE the team you want to buy! Just because you're willing to pay 220 MILLION DOLLARS for something doesn't mean you have ANY rights to it!"
Say what?
Bettman wasn't finished yet. He effectively put the kibosh on the deal and told Balsille he wasn't wanted. Again.
Now, I am not a rich man, nor will I ever likely be one, but I understand business. If you are operating a failing business, as Leipold is, you want to get out, or get a partner, or make drastic changes, like.....location. Balsille knows this, he's made a ton of cash by being smart. Nashville's a loser's marketplace for hockey. Hamilton sounds like a damn good bet for hockey. So why would Bettman wanna wreck that deal? Some say Toronto doesn't want the competition in Ontario. I say that's baloney. They can handle it. You know what I think? It's the fact that Balsille wanted to move them to CANADA.
Where is the NHL's offices located?
New York.
Where's Bettman from?
New York.
Hmmm......
New news today: Leipold found buyers! Yep, a group of investors has banded together to buy the Predators to KEEP THEM in that noted hotbed of hockey in Music City. Wowie! Hey, waitaminute, isn't one of the buyers William "Boots" Del Biaggio III? Yes, yes it is. He's the guy who has a standing deal with another hotbed of hockey, Kansas City to move an NHL team there. (Remember all those great historical games in KC? No? Neither does anyone else because no one there gives a shit about hockey, either) Now wasn't the whole problem with Balsille that he wanted to move the team? Apparently it was the fact that it was a move to Canada that was the whole issue.
Small notice here to Mr. Bettman:
IT'S CANADA'S GAME YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH!!!!!
You've done everything you can to take away the heritage of the Canadian people and ruin the game they created, loved and have followed passionately for over a hundred goddamn years!!!!
Noted owners of the various NHL teams, please note a REALLY pertinent fact here:
You are businessmen. You're there to make a buck. Due to this clown Bettman's interference in your game, and in operations that are none of his concern, Leipold is selling his team for 193 million. He had a firm offer on the table for 220 million from Balsille. That's right, Bettman cost Leipold TWENTY SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS. How much longer will you allow this bufoon to run the league for?
How much will he cost you?
He's already destroyed your TV deal, ruined the heritage of the game and cost you untold money with lockouts and other assorted stupidities.
Are you going to wait until the NHL is about as prominent as roller derby?
Or will you make a stand and remove this putz from the game once and for all?
You can get a really good guy to take the job, too.
One that knows the game, and will take a common sense approach to it.
I don't know which one, but if his last name's Sutter, he'd be a good bet.

Just can't stay out of trouble, can you?

2007-06-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

Ah...Pacman Jones. What a talent on the football field. The man can cover just about anyone, can run, jump and outplay any reciever in the game.
What he can't do is behave like a civilized human being.
Let's see, 5 arrests, 10 questionings by the police, a strip club shootout that left one man in a wheelchair forever, and a record setting one season suspension by new NFL Commissioner David Goodell.
That was just too harsh for poor Pacman, he cried and whined about how he'd never been convicted of anything, and to suspend the brother for that was just sooooo unfair. Goodell gave him a huge opportunity, clean up your act, and stop all the shit, and you can come back after ten games.
Got that, you stupid ass?
Clean up your act.
Stop the shit.
Behave.
BEHAVE.
Is it so damn hard to understand?
Apparently, it is.
On April 20, 2007 he had a full page ad published with his big, heartfelt apology.
He needed to "reorganize his priorities". He needed to "meet the expectations of his fans, coaches, etc on and off the field".
The "first step is to stop making the poor choices".
June 18, 2007.
He's being sought for questioning regarding a shootout near a strip club where "members of his entourage shot at another group's car". At 4 AM. This fine news was followed by the announcment that he will face felony charges for the incident in Vegas.
Has Pacman learned anything?
Nope.
Not one goddamn thing.
Will he cry and ask forgiveness again?
Sure.
His forgiveness should be simple.
When the poor guy in the wheelchair can walk again, Pacman can be forgiven.
He can even be given another chance in the NFL.
Not until.
He should be suspended until that day.
He'll be broke, penniless, homeless and probably dead on the streets by gunfire within two years.
It's what he wants, to be a gangster, instead of a human being.
Too bad for this dumbass that most gangsters end up dead.

Speaking of incredibly stupid human beings who play football, Ricky Williams got busted again.
For the FIFTH time. He got a years suspension and got to go be a star in Canada. While the CFL is not exactly as exciting or as well paid as the NFL, in the words of John Matuzak, "it's a helluva lot better than the Egyptian Football League". Here's the interesting take on Ricky's latest bust, it's only the third time he's been busted for marijuana. The other two drug tests were for other banned and illegal things. So he shouldn't be suspended for life because of that little detail. At least according to his laywers.
Jeez, Goodell, throw the fucking bum out forever.
Let him be dead on the street next to Pacman, and maybe we can have real, human beings in the NFL who are responsible to themselves, their teammates and their communities.

Wal Mart, a Nazi Corporation?

2007-02-15T13:54:00.000-08:00

http://www.bentcorner.com/2006/11/09/wal-mart-is-selling-shirts-with-a-nazi-ss-skull-on-it/
OK, there's where this story broke.
Wal Mart has a shirt with an exact replica of the Totenkopf Death's Head insignia on it. Charming sort of thing to be selling to our kids, right? Well, you know the money loving whores at Wal Mart would sell their mother's asses if they could make a buck off of it.
This story broke on the NINTH OF GODDAMN NOVEMBER!
The shirts are STILL ON THE SHELVES!!!
Wal Mart says it's a "training issue".
Excuse me, but uh, BULLSHIT!
If I found out my company was selling something like that I'd have every single one torched inside of an hour.
Then I'd have the artist and vendor responsible's guts on a stick for making me look bad.
Then I'd be apologizing like there's no tomorrow to everybody on the damn planet.
Would I stilll have them on the shelves three months later?
Maybe I would.
If I was a Nazi.
If I really thought it was OK to sell the insignia of the most brutal regime to ever rule a country that murdered countless millions.
(No, no, not the USA's brutal murder of Iraqi civillians, I'm talking about Hitler's bunch)
How in the hell do these money loving scumbags SLEEP????

That IS horrifying.
Children are buying this.
Wal Mart wants them to think it's "cool".
Do YOU want to shop at Wal Mart anymore?
I never do because they suck and sell crappy merchandise and screw American workers, but how for love of God can a company SELL THIS SHIT???
Tear off your American flag wrappings Wal Mart, put up your swastika banners, you're a disgrace to this country and a disgrace to everyone who ever fought against the evil that that insignia represents.
Sam is rolling over in his grave.
I find the exec who decided to let these keep being sold, he'll join Sam.

Mr. Monk and the Blue Flu Review

2007-01-29T11:46:00.000-08:00

Hey hey all you fans of the OCD detective Monk, Lee Goldberg is back with the third installment in the series, and it's a classic!
The city is stalling on a benefits package for the ploice department, and the cops all come down with the blue flu. With a few unsolved murders, the city is desperate, and Adrian Monk is given back his badge for the duration as acting captain. If it was only him, that'd be fine, but the city has decided to bring several other ex-cops back to help; a nearly senile retiree, a hostile, violent and decidedly anti-social cop who abused his power, and a neurotic paranoid who spent too much time undercover and is now a conspiracy nut. These three make Monk look rather stable in comparison as they unite to solve the various homicides and find the links that put them together. There's twists a-plenty in this one, and Goldberg does his usual great job of letting us see much more of the characters than we could see in any episode.
Major Bonus!
They conveniently give you a few pages of the next book in the series at the end to whet your appetite, and it's already SERIOUSLY whetted (is that a word?) because the preview is rather a bland bit about Natalie's daughter in the ER getting a cast, and the nurse turns out to be.....Sharona!!!
Arrrggghhh!!!! July is sooooooooo far away!!!

Nah-nah-nah HEY! NO!!!

2006-12-31T19:57:00.000-08:00

You all know the classic Rock and Roll Part Two, right?
Nah-nah-nah, HEY!
They play it at damn near every sporting event after a score or big play.
"Well, it's traditional, right?"
Wrong. So wrong. So very wrong.
The song was written by one Gary Glitter in the late 70's, and proved a minor hit.
But there is something y'all overlook.
Public performance rights.
BMI and ASCAP ensure that authors get PAID every time their song gets played on the radio, in a club, or in a sporting arena.
That's very fair to the author.
So every time the stadium rocks to "We Will Rock You", the guys from Queen get a few pennies.
And every time they play "Rock and Roll Part Two", Gary Glitter gets a few cents as well.
There's only one problem there.
He's a convicted child molestor.
He does NOT deserve the money.
He deserves to rot in hell, but we will have to settle for him rotting in a Vietnamese prison.
Is there any reason we continue to make him wealthy?

Last night, I attended my first ever game at the Stockton Arena.
The hometown Thunder lost a close one 4-2, but after each of their goals, some other piece of music played.
I have no idea what it was, but it sounded energetic, and got the crowd going.
I'll bet the composer isn't a convicted child molestor.
How refreshing.
No "Rock and Roll Part Two" anywhere in the arena.
No money for convicted sex perverts.
I can go for that.
I'll also happily attend more Thunder games.
Why don't you call your local hockey, basketball, baseball, etc. team and tell them you don't want their fan support going to enrich a criminal who ruined children's lives?
It's good karma.

BRING BACK BARKEATER LAKE!

2006-12-20T12:30:00.000-08:00

Corey Pandolph, the very funny guy behind the comic strip Barkeater Lake has decided to privatize the strip. He'll be publishing it entirely on his own, via the web URL www.barkeaterlake.com, starting on January 22, however, right now, YOU can go to: http://barkeater.blogspot.com/, and pre-order the first ever Barkeater Lake book, which will be signed and numbered by Corey himself.
If you haven't read it, it's a hilarious look at a big city lady gym teacher who accepts a job out in the middle of nowhere, in Barkeater Lake. Delores learns to deal with small town people, with their small town quirks and foibles, and acquires a set of loyal, if somewhat bizarre new friends as she builds a new life for herself.
You owe it to yourself to check it out! The URL is active for the current incarnation of the strip on the comics.com servers, go get a dose of the laughs, and then go order the book, and wait for the re-birth of a truly funny comic strip!!!

God Bless America!

2006-11-07T23:59:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know I'm an atheist.
I sit here with tears in my eyes, knowing that my fellow Americans did the right thing.
We told the liars, the criminals, the thieves and those who sent out children to die in Iraq, that we have had enough.
Being good, decent, kind and honest paid off for us.
Being true patriots paid off for us.
Never quitting the fight paid off for us.
They tried to intimidate us at the polls.
It didn't work.
Thry tried robo-calling to harass us away from the polls.
It didn't work.
They tried every one of their dirty, underhanded tricks, and they DIDN'T WORK.
WE CAME THROUGH AS A NATION AGAINST THOSE WHO WOULD KEEP US DIVIDED
SO THEY COULD KEEP STEALING MONEY, POWER, AND MOST OF ALL, OUR PRECIOUS LIBERTIES.
THEY FAILED.
We didn't.
The American people came through with flying colors.
This, my fellow Americans, is what we're all about.
We stood up against the facist bully boys, and took a stand for what makes this country great.
I'm proud of y'all.
God bless you all for doing the right thing.
It's going to be a tough fight to fix it all.
Won't happen overnight.
Gonna be a shitload of work ahead.
You know what, though?
I'm up for it.
I'll take a page from the Big Dog's 1992 campaign,
DON'T STOP, THINKING ABOUT TOMORROW,
DON'T STOP, IT'LL SOON BE HERE!

Not as smoking hot, but I'm not complaining!

2006-10-20T16:04:00.000-07:00

Katee Sackhoff as Kara Thrace...with LONG hair......
Mr. Moore, if you ever ask her to cut it again for the show, may
you be infested with the fleas of thousand camels.
Or get a big splinter that really stings.
Now the next image!

Is this, or is it not Katee? Looks amazingly like her.
She has done no endorsements that I know of, but did she
do any modeling before catching a big break on Galactica?
Maybe for stock photography?
Could be.
If the company had a brain cell, they'd ask her to be a spokesperson,
'cause in real life, she's not at all the tough girl she is in Galactica,
she's just simply adorable...I'd buy a phone if she was selling it.

Back to basics, or YOW!!!!!!

2006-10-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

The extremely attractive lass is none other than Nadine Velasquez, but is it just me, or does she have a Susannah Hoffs thing going on in this pic?

Not that it would be a bad thing, mind you, I'm just sayin' is all

Seeing as how it's a Friday and all...here's one to Mitch, just so you can drool all over it...

(Dunnyman's Castle will NOT be responsible for monitors exploding or shorting out due to uncontrollable drooling or licking!)

The Posting Nazi Strikes Again!

2006-10-03T14:23:00.000-07:00

Yeeehhhaaa!
Gotta love this, after seeing how virtually nobody on the ol' DVD Verdict seemed to be outraged about Foley The Pedophile, I posted something similar to my previous post.
As expected, the persons who can't handle dissent evaded and avoided the issue, seeking to blame..

No, wait for it....

they blamed Clinton.
Sooo...being the fair guy I am, asked them why they avoided the issue, and Mr. Nazi Reefa hisself
decided to post my piss off column to the more idiotic members of the Verdict, then he PM'ed me this:

"I didn't care about the OT forum from your "walking away" up until I saw today what you said about me and other JR members. So do you want to take a step back and calm down and retract your 'graphs of member abuse to me via PM, so you can continue to post to your heart's content?"

Threatening me with the removal of my Verdict posting because of something that I said HERE?
Well, seeing as how my original post here was about being threatened to watch my language THERE, and now he's telling me to watch my language HERE?
Hmmm....Mr. Reefa, let me put this in simple-easy-to-understand terms:
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?????
THIS, Sir, is MY BLOG, not YOURS, and as long as I obey the rules THERE, you have no business taking me to task for what I say here, and as far as demanding a "retraction" of my posts here?
I'd like you to do something for me, sir.
Kindly sodomize yourself with Louisville Slugger.
Sans lube.

Now have a splendid day.

So WHERE'S the outrage?

2006-10-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

By now most of you who can read or listen to and comprehend basic English know that Mark Foley (R-Pervertville) is on his way out as the sick bastard was hitting on young men who served as Congressional pages.
But where's the outrage?
Where's the screaming from the rooftops?
Oh.
That's right.
It's a Republican who got busted.
So the ol' Family Values people are just keeping their traps shut about it.
Mr. Speaker?
Hmm...Hastert seems more intent on covering his own ass.
Where's ol' George The Unelected Bastard's take on this?
Can't seem to find it.
Rush (The Big Fat Viagra Taking Hypocrite) Limbaugh?
Not a peep.
Bill O'Lielly?
Zip.
If it had been a DEMOCRAT who got busted?
They'd be screaming themselves hoarse and frothing at the mouth.
Hypocrisy, thy name is Republican.
Hard to believe it was once the party of Lincoln.
GOP=Grand Old Pedophiles
GOP=Grand Old Perverts

"If this be treason, make the most of it."

2006-09-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

If Nathan Hale was courageous enough to die for liberty.....

So His Exalted Shit-headedness George The Magnificent Asshole Bush I has suspended Habeas Corpus?
And he alone can define who an "enemy combatant" is?
Like, if he doesn't like what you say, you're an "enemy combatant", and it's off to Gitmo with you.
OK, fuck that, I mean, seriously.
This is bullshit.
Ain't what America is all about.
And now I know a LOT of people who are spooked because they've been pretty vocal about ol' Georgie Porgie PorkBarrel W.
Guess what?
I ain't one of them.
According to Chimpy McCokespoon, if I disagree with him, I'm the bad guy.

"If this be treason, make the most of it."
Patrick Henry said it, if you're an American, live by it.....

This is, indeed, pure grade-A Facism by the Bushites, but you know what?
There aren't that many of them.
What kind of an army do they have left after the Iraqi quagmire?
We, my friends, are many.
I will do what I must.
I will speak my mind.
I will never fear.
I will never hide.
What if they come for me?
Let them.
On every box of Remington ammo, it says "The Second Amendment Guarantees The Rest"
I won't go quietly.
They'll fall with me.
And some will say I got what I deserved, but others will see the truth.
They will fight back.
More soldiers will fall with them.
Soon, the soldiers will question why they must die to kill their friends and neighbors.
And then our great nation will be born again as we rise up as one, and restore the America we love.
We outnumber the evil men.
We will win.
My life?
I regret that I have but one to give.

We talk about how this government is disgraceful and wrong and evil, and how the great men who built this nation would be ashamed of it.
Then damnit, don't disgrace their memories!
They all knew they would die if they failed, and many of them knew they would die in course of building this nation.
They didn't fear.
We talk about the sacrifices our ancestors made, as they died in the cause of preserving this nation's freedom when we were attacked.
Then damnit, don't disgrace their memories!
They gave their lives willingly to keep our freedom alive.
They didn't fear.
Many, many people gave their lives to build and preserve this great nation.
If my life is called for to do the same, I can do no less.
I cannot face them in the world after this and say I did not because I was afraid.
I will do what I must.
I will speak my mind.
I will never fear.
I will live free or die.

OK, apparently no one gives a crap...SO....

2006-09-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

My politics are what I feel, and I do feel passionately about them, however, no one else gives a crap about my views on them.
So in a desperate attempt to get someone to pay attention to my nonsense ont he web, I've decided to share some writings.

"Oh holy effin' Jesus, he's not gonna bore the snot out of us with some lame-ass poetry, is he?" you ask.
"No, I'm not."
This is some stuff that's been bouncing around my head for AGES.
I keep a number of storylines going at any given time, and from time to time, I write it down in an effort to tell a story.
Please, if you do read, provide some honest critiques?
I'll post it soon enough...

God Bless Keith Olbermann!

2006-09-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

This guy is the very definition of journalist. He allows no bullshit, no lies and no deception to go unchallenged when it comes to the pResident, his exalted shit-headedness George The Bastard, and Olbermann has made it his mission to keep us informed, while the rest of the media rolls over on command. Murrow would be proud of him, and I imagine Walter Cronkite is as well.

OK, enough nice guy....FUCK THE REPUBLICANS!

2006-09-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

AND their stooges who just spout off blather all over the place, all the while being mindless lemmings who need their asses kicked.
I just quit a place I used to enjoy going, because of the right wing assholes who insult, spin and slam anything on the left. You know, the kind of fuckheads who ignore the wonderful economy, progress made on our environment, and the fact that the Twin Towers were still standing while Bill was President. Yep, the ol' DVD Verdict, used to be place where you could chat with people of differing backgrounds, but while the right wing whackos can insult me and call me a coward, a traitor and worse because I DEMAND ACCOUNTABILITY FROM THE FUCKING JACKOFF WHO LIVES IN THE WHITE HOUSE, but when one of them is completely ignorant and cannot get the point of a simple commentary by Keith Olbermann, and he disses Keith because he can't understand the simple message, I, the guy who's been insulted, called traitor, etc. get threatened with expulsion because I called the guy on his ignorance.
Democracy in action!!!
Quash that dissent!
Anyone who dares question the Reich Wing must be silenced!!
I say FUCK THEM.
Miss that?
FUCK THEM.
The Verdict used to be about ideas and film, but if you dare utter anything against the current masters of our theocratic, facist nation, you're bad news. You gotta get threatened.
FUCK THEM.
Not everyone there, because there's some really nice people, who strive to keep discourse civil, but the assholes who want to chuck people out if they dare to question the Republican Scumbags.
The good:
Molly-Love ya Moll, keep up the fight..
Harold Gervais-Keep it up Harold, but you'll be tossed before too long..
GoBear-you're an eloquent, well read type of rare intellect, I hope you never quit the fight....
Steve Powers-the most good natured and civil chap in the business, you're an impartial and prejudice free fellow, we need more like you.
Mitch Hattaway-he of the hysterically funny reviews, and good sense,
Schmooo-the guy who enjoys picking on Thing-fish as much as I do...
and of course, Addison deWitt, he of the ever present charm, your witty, wise and well thought out posts are much missed of late...
and the rest of the fine folks who can accept the truth that our country's in a huge clusterfuck
and lest anyone think I direct my anger at ALL persons of Conservative bent, I shall also miss:
Erick Harper, who's TRULY conservative leanings do not preclude the good sense he shows in understanding the issues...
Chris McClinch, who is also a true Conservative, but he's smart enough to see what is real in this world.

THE PISS OFF LIST:
FUTUREMAN-Future? Are you fucking kidding me? You're a throwback to the good ol' days. Like 1850, when you could still buy and sell people of color. Your stunning ignorance is amazing, and certain proof that those who blindly follow the right will ensure the bitter division of our country for ages to come.
ICHIWAWA-Least of which is his fucking idiotic nickname, his stupidity goes into the realms of truly moronic behavior when he states that "he doesn't have a horse in the race" but never fails to attack Clinton and the Left on every single issue, and will never accept any blame for his hero GW Dickheaded Bush. You couldn't be any more transparent if you were cellophane.
OMEN-Ooooh, he sounds tough, but his ignorance is amazing, he doesn't even comprehend global warming. A real Jersey knucklehead.
JCANKERHUXLY-Another dickhead with about as much sense as, say, your average fruitfly. He launched a wonderfully ignorant attack on Al Gore. Yeah, Dickhead IQ, maybe 100, Al Gore, 154, yep, you certainly know better than Al, global warming can't possibly exist. This putz also thinks that most of those Eurotrash pussies actually know how to drive race cars. Let me know when the first one of them unseats Steve Kinser in a real race.
ZIPPO-In addition to his nickname, it's his IQ. Doesn't have a clue, but never fails to mention something completely irrelevant about a completely different subject when you bring up Bush's failures.
REFFA-Yes, Mr. Nazi himself, Mr. Don't You Dare Call a Spade A Spade, when one of your little pets calls a highly respected journalist ignorant, it's against the rules to respond to him using the same language. You got your little feifdom, enjoy it you moron.
And just in case any of y'all are the squealer type (I'm sure most of you trouser stain Repukes are), FUCK BUSH, FUCK CHENEY, FUCK RUMSFELD, ETC. GO AHEAD, tell them...I .....eagerly await the day the Repubs try to stop me from saying what I damn well feel like.
Y'see, I think the Constitution is swell.
The Bill of Rights is just peachy keen, too.
#2 works for me.
Bring it on.

Time to fuck with a scam artist....

2006-09-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

Oh joy! I look in the ol' Yahoo email and well, golly, I have a chance to make some easy money!
Yeah. Right.
Another one of these scam artists over there in Africa.
I've decided to play this dumbfuck for all he's worth, mainly 'cause I need the laughs.
And I'm kind of cruel that way.

Here it is:, with my interjections along the way.

"FROM MR.LEEN MOHAMED.
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
BANK OF AFRICA.
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO"

OK. Where the fuck IS Burkina-Faso?
West Africa. It's landlocked and piss-poor.
So instead of trying to actually find honest labor
and build any kind of industry, they turn to scams.
Clever devils!

DEAR FRIEND,

Really? I don't know you from Adam.

(TOP SECRET)

Can you trust me? I wouldn't trust me.

MY NAME IS MR LEEN MOHAMED. I FREELANCE AND WORK
AS A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR FOR CORPORATE ORGANZATIONS
HERE IN BURKINA-FASO WEST AFRICA.

I thought he worked for the auditors?

RECENTLY I WAS ASKED TO HEAD A TEAM OF INVESTIGATORS ABOUT
A CLIENT OF THIS PARTICULAR (BANK OF AFRICA) HERE IN BURKINA-FASO,
WEST AFRICA AFTER MY INVESTIGATOR WE COME ACROSS AN UNCLAIM
FUND PERSON, WHO DIED INTESTATE AND HAS A DEPOSIT U$7.2 MILLION
DOLLARS IN BANK OF AFRICA HERE, AND ITS AFFILIATE IN EUROPE.

UPON HIS DEATH WE TRIED LOOKING FOR HIS IMMEDIATE RELATION(S)
TO NO AVAIL.I FURTHER GATHERED THAT OUR SAID CLIENT WHOSE
NAME SHALL BE WITHHELD FOR NOW FOR SECURITY REASONS DIED
ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE HOUSE-HOLD IN
THE ILL-FATED AF4590 AIR CRASH IN MOENCHENGLADBACH,GERMANY
ARROUND MIDDLE OF YEAR 2000 ON ITS WAY TO NEW YORK FOR HIS
ANNUAL VACATION,DETAILS CAN BE FOUND ON THIS WEBSITE
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
PLEASE FOR ONFIDENTIALITY/SECURITY REASONS YOU ARE TO KEEP
THIS WEBSITE TO YOURSELF TIGHTLY FOR NOW UNTIL FURTHER
NOTICE AS IT WAS A PRODUCT OF MY FINDINGS

You got it! NO one will find out about the BBC from ME!

DURING MY COURSE OF INVESTIGATION ON THIS SAID DECEASED
CLIENT AND A UBSEQUENT HONEST INDIVIDUAL THAT WILL SERVE
AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THAT I MIGHT PRESENT HIS DETAILS BEFORE
THE MANAGEMENT OF THIS BANK TO STAND AS A NEXT-OF-KIN
AS HE NEVER INDIDCATED ANY BEFORE HIS UNTIMELY DEATH.

Well THAT makes perfect sense, lots of people who have 7.2 million
in the bank leave those details open.
Really cuts down on the worry.

IT IS IN THE LIGHT OF THE ABOVE I SUMMED UP COURAGE AND
CONFIDENCE

Oh, there's a word that applies here, but not in the way he implies.

TO CONTACT AND SEEK YOUR INTEREST TO USE YOU, AS A
FOREIGNER WHO WILL STAND AS HIS NEXT-OF-KIN BEFORE THE
MANAGEMENT OF THE BANK UPON MY FINAL RE-COMENDATION IN
THE CAPACITY OF THE HEAD OF INVESTIGATING PANEL SO THAT
THE FUNDS WOULD BE RELEASED AND PAID INTO YOUR CUSTODY
AS THE BENEFICIARY'S NEXT-OF-KIN,ALL DOCUMENTS AND PROVES
TO ENABLE YOU RECIEVE THIS FUND WILL BE CAREFULLY WORKED OUT

Pretty sure documents created at Kinko's don't work that well

AND MORE AS A PROFESSIONAL IN THIS FIELD,IT IS NOT A
STRANGE FACT THAT THE SAID FUND WILL BE CONFISCATED BY TOP
MANAGEMENT EXECUTIVE OF THE BANK AFTER A FRUITLESS SEARCH
FOR ANY NEXT-OF-KIN.

The stragne fact is why, or HOW he came across me.

I AM ASSURING YOU OF 100% RISK-FREE INVOLVEMENT AND AT
THE END OF THE DAY,WE ARE ASLO AWARE OF THE FACT THAT
SOMETHING WILL HAVE TO BE WORKED-OUT FOR OURSELVES
HERE AND FOR YOU THAT WILL BE RECIEVING THIS FUNDS.

ASLO, this guy's spelling is atrocious. Pretty sure a top flight
bank investigator would be better educated.

PLEASE,IF THE ABOVE PROPOSAL IS OKAY BY YOU SIMPLY
INDICATE YOUR WILLINGNESS AND I WILL LET YOU HAVE THE
PANACEA TO CLAIM IT.NB NOW FOR ALL YOUR HELP IN RECIVING
THIS MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT 40% OUT OF THE MONEY IS
FOR YOU5% FOR ANY ESPENCESS

The word is EXpenses, curly. I thought it was risk free?
I'm gonna have to pay upfront, aren't I?

BOTH OF US WILL DO ON IT AND YOU WILL KEEP THE LEST OF
OUR MONEY TILL WE COME TO YOUR COUNTRY TO MEET YOU,

Oh, happy day! Mom, these are my con artist friends from Africa!

NOTE: IF THIS PROPOSAL SUIT YOU,KINDLY RESPOND TO ME
ON MY DIRECT EMAIL CONTACT: (mrleen_moh@yahoo.com)
WITH ALL THE BANK INFORMATIONS.

1 YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND YOUR BANK NAME
2, YOUR FULL NAME AND YOUR BANK ADDRESS
3 , YOUR BANK ROUTING NUMBER

Why, certainly! That's information that cannot be used against me, I'm sure
these fellows will just waltz on in here in Issaquah, and deposit millions for me.

ALL THIS WILL IMMEDIATELY SUBMITED TO BANK FOR NORMAL
PROCEDURE, WE DONT NEED TO DELY BECUSE IT WILL ONLY
TAKE US 7 WORKING DAYS PLEASE .

To clean out my account, most likely.
Hey, I can present fake documents to prove I'm the heir to
7.2 million, and in SEVEN days the funds are cleared?!? The
sonuvabitches at my branch couldn't even cut me a cashiers
check for 700.00 because my license had expired.
Fuck BofA, I'm moving my accounts to the Bank Of Africa!

MR LEEN MOHAMED.

A name you KNOW you can trust.

More details to follow as I lead this prick on for a few weeks...:-)

This is actually pretty good!

2006-08-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

No Craptacular Classic this week! I honestly expected this flick to suck,
simply because Uwe Boll has made all German directors look like crap.
(I beg of you Dr. Boll, please stop making movies, you really have no aptitude for it!)
Wolfgang Buld, on the other hand, might be pretty good one of these days.
Twisted Sisters tells the tale of Jennifer, a sweet, kind and charming young lady
who is very much in love with her boyfriend, and has just found out that she's pregnant.
The only problem is in the opening scene, we see her acting very much unlike that person.
She um, sorta does something pretty horrible to a guy she picks up in a bar.
Why would this nice girl do that?
OK. Fess up that you figured this one out.
What? You didn't? You're shitting me, right?
It's HER TWIN! DUH-DUH-DUH!!
Yep, Jennifer's folks fess up that she's a twin, and adopted, and it looks like sis is stark raving bonkers.
Jennifer is accused of her crimes, but it all plays out pretty nicely, with some good FX,
and a solid if unexceptional cast. The script isn't perfect, but I'll give Buld a pass as English might
not be his first language, and a few lines are kind of clunky. Fiona Horsey plays the girls, and the scenes
where they are together are very well done, Buld pulls it all off with a body double and some really good editing. Fiona however, is one radiant and seriously smokingly hot young lady.
Someone cast her in something other than a low budget European film, and watch her make a name for herself.
Now the whole twins gig has been done to death, and plotwise, this is nothing special, but it's done with enthusiasm and competently shot with some nice angles, lighting, etc.
No flushers, damn, give this thing two stars.....let's see what Buld comes up with next, and as he has worked with Fiona
Horsey several times, let's hope she's along for the ride.

I am in SERIOUS pain....

2006-08-15T00:04:00.000-07:00

You know the old saw "No good deed goes unpunished"?
I decided to be a sport and help someone move Saturday.
"No, here, let ME get that big heavy box, I'll just grab it and
ARRRGGHHHHHHGGGHHHHEEEAAAGGHHHH!!!!!!! JESUS GODDAMN CHRIST, I
FUCKING TORE MY ARM OFF!!!!"
"Owwwww!!!"
Time for a trip to the doctor.
Nothing broken.
Good.
How bad can it be?
Partial tear of the posterior deltoid.
Huh? In english, doc, I didn't go to med school.
Partially torn shoulder muscle.
Oh shit.
Will it need surgery? (I just got decent medical, I really don't wanna find out what it WON'T cover yet)
No? Good!
How long will I only have one good arm for?
Two to three months?
Shee-it.
Can I use it at work?
Sure!
It'll just be excruciatingly painful.
Lovely.
Heavy duty muscle relaxants, and some really nice pain stuff,
and I feel like a human being.
I'm absolutely useless on Sunday, basically drooling and incoherent, but hey,
that's not far off the norm for me, right?
I come out of the stupor to watch a bit of TV,
get some sleep, wake up stiffer than a....wait, that sounds dirty.
I awake to shoulder stiffness. Much better.
A few pills, and gee, I feel OK, I can even get some work done, even if my mind is wandering
a bit. I make progress! The pain stuff wears off, and it isn't too horrible. Everything's loose,
and I feel a bit wobbly, but no major pain, just a dull ache.
Splendid! Let's go to the part time gig!
Hmm, it all works OK, no heavy lifting, and I'll be fine.
Mind is sharp, no fuzziness, I'm my usual cheerful self.
"What's that miss? The restroom is locked? No, it's unlocked, trust me.
No? Let me take a look, hmm, the handle is turning, so it's not locked, maybe the door's just
a bit stuck, let me just give it a good shove with my shoulder and AAAUUUUGGGHHHHHARRGGHHHH!!!
HOLY MOTHER......GOD!!! I JUST RIPPED MY.....GOSH....DARNED ARM OFF AGAIN!!"
I REALLY hate not being able to cuss up a blue streak when I'm injured.
I typed this into Word, because the auto spell check will fix anything that's off.
That's because the pain pills are kicking in.
Boy howdy, are they working well.
Did they ever give a Nobel Prize to the guy who discovered Vicodin?
They should have.

Color me shocked...not really

2006-08-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

You Will Die at Age 58

Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle
Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

Holy jumpin' shit!
Then again, the oldest male in my family only made it to 60....I shouldn't be surprised.
I am, however, way over due for my midlife crisis, where's the '69 Camaro and 19 year old girlfriend?

Uh oh....this can't be good....

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

On the other hand....

You Are 64% Sociopath

The good news is that you're devastatingly charming.
The bad news? You mostly use those charms for evil!

Are You A Sociopath?

This does not bode well.....I'm predicitng misery and tragedy of some sort....
oh well, not my lookout....hehehehehe!

If you like the show, you'll LOVE the book-PART TWO!

2006-07-12T14:35:00.000-07:00

OK, I thought the first book in the series was just a great ride through the world of Adrian Monk, and it was. The second one, wow, it's even better.
It seems Natalie Teeger is on her way to Hawaii, for a friend's wedding. She's not sure how to tell Monk she'll be gone for a week and leaves it up until the last minute, only telling Monk the day before she leaves.
BAD IDEA.
Needless to say, Monk tags along (the how of him getting to Hawaii is hilarious), and leaves a trail of mayhem wherever he goes. The hotel is reprimanded for rolling their towels instead of folding them, the inequities of the mini-bar having two candy bars while having ONE of everything else is a cause for near panic by Monk, and the Hawaiian police are in for the surprise of their loves as Monk jumps in (un-asked, of course) to solve a crime.
I'm a huge fan of Monk, and I'll be the first to admit that last season was uneven. There were brilliant episodes, and there were horrible ones. The fix is easy, hire Lee Goldberg to head the writing team!!!! His two Monk novels have been wonderful fun, while giving us some good insights into the characters. We've learned more about Natalie in two books than we learned in all of a season and a half!! We even get development on Dr. Kroger!
Goldberg's got these characters running perfectly, and the episodes he's written have been among the best, so unless it's an issue of availability, it would make sense to have him oversee the writing, and hopefully pen four or five a year. It would also serve to make Monk a long term success.
You hear me, Breckman?
I won't go into spoilers, but let's just say that Monk tackles the case like nobody else would, and a good time is had by all.
Highly recommended!!!
So when does the next Monk novel come out?

Craptacular Classic of the Week!!!

2006-07-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

Hey hey, I'm back with one truly shitty-ass movie to mock, pick on, and kick when it's down.
I'm mean like that.
We have Cemetary Gates!
"A mutated Tasmanian Devil is 'rescued' by two eco-activists and escapes near an abandoned cemetary where a group of students are filming a zombie movie", that's the summary from the back of the box, and I HAD to rent this.
Let's see, dumb college students who get stoned while making a shitty student film? Got 'em.
Scientist sans a clue? Got him.
Minimum of three hot chicks? Got 'em.
Incredibly horribly cheap FX.
Oooohhh....yeeeeaaahhh.
144 gallons of food coloring and ketchup to cover up the fact that good fake blood ain't cheap?
They got it.
Actually, that's not entirely fair.
The blood is pretty extensive, but when you have a monster with huge claws savaging human flesh, there should be more than just blood. We see it spurting everywhere, but we don't see actual wounds on the people, one scene has the monster literally just rubbing his paws on a guy and you can clearly see they make no actual contact, but the blood is flying.
THIS is the kind of film making that gets noticed in the Craptacular Classics!
We also get a lot of (I'm sorry, a whole freaking shitload of) off camera mayhem, with bodies flying back into camera after being ripped up by the beast.
Nothing like off camera gore, eh?
Just to make this film interesting, they give us a semi-Deliverance family of rednecks (I'm sorry, Appalachian-Americans), who are plotting to steal the cameras, a couple of old hippies who go out to "see what the animals see", (their hallucination is ANIMATED! bwahahahahaahahaha!), a bicycle rider, and a couple of passerby who also get mutilated.
Kind of busy for an abandoned cemetary, no?
Then...the BEAST!
Looks like a set of fake paws/claws, a head piece, and then all we see is a guy hunched over on all fours wearing some bad shag carpet in the distance shots.
But WAIT!
There's some deep meaning here, it seems the student making the film, is the son of the scientist, and the mutated monster was a family pet....named...are you ready for this?........Precious.
Folks, it's gotta be...

A FOUR FLUSHER!!!!!
It might have been improved if the other two chicks had gotten nekkid. The other scientist was hot, with huge knockers.

Life Truly Sucks At Times

2006-07-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

Life is no bed of roses for me of late.
A phone call three weeks ago kinda rocked me to the core.
Not sure if this is the place to vent, but I have to, or I'm gonna lose my mind.
It seems my sister in law, who I have known for 26 years, is NOT the person I beleived her to be. Nor is she the person ANYONE thought she was.
Apparently for the last four years she's been fooling around on my brother.
I go into "family defense" mode at that.
NObody hurts my brothers or my mom and gets forgiven. EVER.
The fooling around I can understand as their marriage hasn't been perfect.
The...um, embezzlement and giving of the stolen cash to the other guy is what I'm really having trouble with.
Seems her skills at bookkeeping are pretty good, if you don't mind her putting it all in her bank account.
600,000 dollars or so at latest count. Two of the companies she's worked for have gone bankrupt.
People out of work. Suffering big time because of her deeds.
And she gave it all to the other guy so he could play at being a motorcycle racer?

Why did all this happen?
What happen to my big brother's sweet girlfriend/fiancee who was so cool? The one who went to all that work to get opening day tickets to the Empire Strikes Back for my 13th birthday so my brother could take me out for a great day? The one who set up a pair of tickets to see the NHL return to the Bay Area in an exhibition game at Oakland to feed my hockey madness? The one of a thousand kindnesses?
What turned her into this?
I don't know.
But this just hurts like hell.
If she didn't care about my brother, fine, divorce him (hey, being married to him CAN'T be easy), but don't pull this kind of shit, and for crying out loud, maybe think of your KIDS?
The kids who won't be seeing their mother for, I dunno, eight years I think is what they're saying now.
Selfish bitch.

This has had me messed up for some time.
It doth sucketh, big time.

Now for a small bit of hopeful news.
Date tonight.
She seems marginally sane.
Keep your fingers crossed.

Why is this man STILL getting chances?

2006-05-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

After numerous incidents, running back Ricky Williams has been suspended for a full year from the NFL.
Why?
'Cause Ricky just can't keep away from pot.
He just loves to get wasted.
So much that he'll lose roughly 8.5 million dollars this year in salary.
He's been suspended before, been disciplined.
Did it do any good?
Nope.
Still a pothead.
I'm not going to judge except on this basis:
It IS AGAINST THE LAW, and AGAINST THE RULES OF THE NFL!!!
So Ricky got suspended, and he'll lose 8.5 million.
Well, sort of.
In an effort to boost their ticket sales, the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL
signed him up. Roughly 300,000 dollars US for his services.
God only knows how much he'll make in endorsements and merchandise.
Hmmmm....I used to look at the CFL as a place of class, but they've just thrown that out the window.
"Got a lawbreaker that can run like a motherfucker that does drugs? We'll sign him up!!!
We're cheap whores that'd sign Bin Laden if he could play the game!"
I hope Toronto loses every single game this year.
I also hope some enterprising linebacker shatters his leg so
bad he'll never walk straight, let alone PLAY the game ever again.
It's what he deserves, obscurity and poverty, because this pile of garbage
can't play by the rules. He is gifted by nature with a body of incredible skill, but he just CAN'T stay away from drugs.
What a loser.

My Typical Customer

2006-05-23T14:45:00.000-07:00

Note: This is at the part time gig, the place with blue and gold for colors that rents movies.
The above pictured individual is a fairly accurate composite of
the average putz who wanders in my door.
Now, working there, one might assume I have some film knowledge,
and I do. Add in my long time fascination with flicks, and whole
boatloads of info gained via the brainy and well informed folks
over at DVD Verdict, and yeah, I've got pretty good info at my
disposal.
Now if some the nimrods who wander in could actually frame an
intelligent question about film, I'd be thrilled.
The "Where is such and such flick?" questions are fine, they don't know exactly where
it might be, and under what category, so ask the guy at the counter.
"What do you recommend if I want a good comedy?" is not too bad,
but if they tell me their favorite comedy is American Pie, I'm not going to
tell them about GOOD films, just the current retarded comedy hit,
(for those who wish to know, it's The Ringer or Grandma's Boy), no sense wasting
a great flick like Snatch on them.
The epitome of stupidity is the "huh?" customer as I call them.
They're not stuck for where a title might be, they're not curious as to if an
unknown flick might be any good, their problem is theiy're not sure which door
they're supposed to open to get out of the house in the morning.
"Hey, do you have "Snakes On A Plane?"
"Well, no sir, that film isn't due to be released until 4th of the July week, generally, we don't get films BEFORE
they hit the theater."
"Oh, OK, do you have The DaVinci Code?"
"Um, no, it's currently IN theaters, they'd really take a hit on
ticket sales if you could rent it here instead."
"Oh, no problem, let me get X-Men 3 then."

"By any chance are your mother and father brother and sister as well?"

Who Would You Like to Sue Today?

2006-05-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

"More I think about it, ol' Billy was right,
Let's kill all the laywers, let's kill 'em tonight"
I have some....interesting neighbors.
That's the short version of it.
My upstairs neighbor recently pounded on my
door at nearly 11: 00 at night.
Fearing some emrgency, I opened,
and it was indeed a huge problem.
"I just got back from my doctor,
and it's horrible! Terrible!"
Thinking that some terrible diagnosis
had been handed to her, I inquired as to the trouble.
"He looked at my new MRI, and I'm getting BETTER!"
What.
The.
Fuck.
"Who am I gonna sue now?"
She's had some back issues, resulting from a
questionable work injury, and they've gotten
better. And she's.....pissed?
Yep, if she's getting better, she can't sue her
former employers, and she can't get disability, either.
Her lawsuits against everyone under the sun
for her various problems apparently are her
only reason to exist.
What is wrong with this world?
If I had a severely disabling condition,
and a new MRI showed some improvement,
personally I'd be thrilled.
Not her, she's mad because the possibility of a free ride
is shot to hell by her getting better.
She's all kinds of mad because she....
might have to go out and get a goddamn job.
I work 80+ fucking hours a week, bitch.
Get used to life.
A buddy of mine in California is trying to sue
the disability people for "dropping him".
He was in a car accident.
They say he's not completely disabled,
hence their cutting him off. Their view is that
he needs to get off his arse and get a job, and
maybe lose a hundred pounds.
They're predicting rosy health if he does that.
But he's trying to sue, the state, disability, his former employers,
the company he tried to get a job from, but he's not suing the GUY
THAT FUCKING HIT HIM!!!
He's looking for a big payday, so he can sit on his arse and do nothing
for the rest of his natural days.

Now, certain (REPUBLICAN SCUM) lawmakers are trying to institute
reforms, and in some ways, I agree.
People like the ones I've mentioned have no business suing anyone.
Nor does a stupid bitch that puts a cup of burning hot coffee in her crotch while driving.
But these (CORRUPT DIRTBAGS) lawmakers don't want to end just
frivolous lawsuits, they want to end liability for any big company.
So you can make a lethal product that kills or disfigures people,
and they have no recourse for their misery.
Methinks a happy medium must be sought.
We have companies being put to major troubles
because of these idiots.
I purchased a product awhile back.
It told me to use caution as it might be flammable.
Really?
Better be careful, then, right?
Only trouble is,
it's a GODDAMN FIREPLACE LOG!!!!
It had damn well BETTER be flammable!!!
'Cause if it ain't?
I'm suing someone.

American rudeness in San Jose?

2006-05-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

You might have heard about this.
Several thousand fans in the HP Pavilion decided that a few fans booing one of the Sharks players in Edmonton deserved to have their entire country insulted. Yes, my homeys thought that booing the Canadian Freaking National Anthem was the OK thing to do to repay a few boors in Edmonton who booed a PICTURE of Joe Thornton that was unfortunately shown during OUR Anthem.
That's the way we do it nowadays, person A does something dumb, so person B goes out of their way to show they they can be a complete, utter and total jackoff in doing something even stupider. You know, because they gotta show 'em. Gotta make sure person A knows they're not afraid of them. So let's just say a few Canadian fans are interviewed beforew tonight's game and they say that the American fans are classless boobs for booing. (They ARE, by the way) The natural reply for the San Jose fans will be to burn Canadian flags, smash all their Rush CD's, and wave a picture of the Queen on fire.
And really, we actually wonder why people think the USA is full of ignorant retards?
I was raised in San Jose, among a group of people that could always be described as....diverse. We didn't just KNOW about other cultures, we REVELED in them. And ALWAYS with respect. We were racers, and the family trooped off to the Pacific Northwest several times for racing series, and we met even MORE different people! It was a blast. In Washington State, they played BOTH anthems before the races because of the large numbers of Canadians there, and we stood RESPECTFULLY, at attention for them. Eventually we even learned the words to "Oh, Canada" and happily sang along with our neighbors and friends to the North. And when we went over the border to THEIR country, the favor and courtesy was ALWAYS returned, should some ignorant Canadian feel the need to sit back down during the Star Spangled Banner, we never even had the time to get offended, because one of their own would instruct them in courtesy, sometimes making their point via a left hook.
Come to think of it, we did the same should some putz feel "Oh, Canada" wasn't worthy of his respect.
And now, we have thousands booing the anthem of our neighbors.
To be fair, some of the crowd sang along to it and tried to drown out the idiots, but there was far too many of them. To those who attempted, good job. To those who did NOTHING?
You're a disgrace to the USA, the state of California, and most especially to that wonderful city of my youth where we were taught to respect and appreciate the differences in the many cultures of this world.
San Jose, you make me ashamed to admit I'm from there.....
The assholes who were booing, they're assholes, plain and simple, classless, brainless, and most likely dickless.
The ones who just sat there and let them do it?
You're the ones who should be ashamed of yourselves.

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!!!!

I vow I will NEVER allow any of my fellow Americans to be so rude in MY presence!
I salute my great neighbor to the North!!
And Sharks fans, you've just started a war against an entire country.
Every single hockey fan in Canada is united AGAINST you, they'll be wearing their maple leafs proud tonight, hoping to see your rudeness eliminated from the playoffs this year. A sea of red and white awaits you in Edmonton!!! A nation unites to mock you for your stupidity.
Good job of getting them riled up, you idiots.

Craptacular Classic of the Week!!!

2006-05-13T01:36:00.000-07:00

Xanadu.
Oh yes, I've heard the various legends and myths of such a place.
But who in their right mind ever thought this was the right way to put it on screen?
Even though it was named differently, Lost Horizon featured a neat paradise,
one I wouldn't mind hanging out in. But this?
Let me backtrack.
Imagine you're a Hollywood producer and it's 1980.
"Hey, Charlie, we need a new idea. We gotta make a hit."
"Well, slashers are hot now, but I don't think they'll last. I think a musical could be big."
"You're right! We did that white kids in a disco thing for Saturday Night Fever,
with John Travolta, and it was HUGE!"
"Yeah, and we did the black kids in a disco thing with Donna Summer,
and that sold real good!"
"Don't forget the 50's revival with Grease and John Travolta
and Olivia Newton John, major moneymaker!!"

(note, these gentleman are obviously oblivious to the steaming pile
known as Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band? Now back to our geniuses.)

"Hey, I GOT IT! A magical roller disco with Olivia Newton John AND Gene Kelley!!
Whaddaya say?"
"Sid, you're a GENIUS!!!"
Now if someone had beaten these gentlemen with a tire chain, before going
on to finish the job with a monkey wrench, the world could have been spared
the retina burning sights of this flick.
I won't go into the horribly silly plot (She's a muse, and he's an artist...who wants to build a roller disco?),
but we'll start with the whole concept: It was 1980!!!! Disco was DEAD.
Kaput.
There was this stuff called punk.
Way cooler than disco.
But our geniuses had an ace up their sleeves!
The SOUNDTRACK!
They took the effort to hire Jeff Lynne and ELO to write it.
Too bad Jeff and Co. were already yesterday's news.
The Last Train From Bloatsville.
Competent, but miles away from being cool.
Did they consider that Olivia's voice was ill suited to their music?
Nah, as long as the check was good.
So we have an epic bloated soundtrack, to go with a movie
that started filming without a finished script.
I'm serious.
Ask Olivia Newton John.
Written as they went.
We got a 40's dance sequence with Gene Kelley that meant nothing.
We got Olivia rollerskating around the beach boardwalk for no reason.
(yeah, mystical muses do that all the time I think)
We got costumes that can still send epileptic children into seizures.
We got huge sets, a million dancers, singers, jugglers, roller skaters, etc.
And it made zero sense.
And it made zero cents.
Flopperoonie!
So it disappeared into the dustbin of history.
Good riddance.
But I picked up the ELO Box Set (yeah, they're still pretty good musicians, not as cool as they once were, but hey)
It had their version of Xanadu on it.
It's a pretty good pop song.
It got me thinking, was it REALLY that bad of a movie?
So I found it at Scarecrow Video.
Oh dear god, it's every bit as horrible as I remembered.
And I noticed things the kid in me never did.
Like Olivia can't dance to save her life.
(I never noticed that when I lusted after her then)
Ginger Rogers coulda mopped up the floor with her.
Gene Kelley looked really old in it.
The FX are horribly dated.
Even for 1980, I mean.
Wretched, wretched, wretched.
It's...
A THREE FLUSHER!!

It woulda been four, but damn, Olivia sure was a cutie back then.

Might as well, everyone else is...:-)

2006-04-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.planearium2.de/flash/spstudio.html
It's a fun little flash setup to create yourself as a South park character!

JOE THORNTON FOR MVP!

2006-04-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ah, spring, that must mean it's PLAYOFF TIME!
My boys Los Tiburones (The Sharks to all you gringoes out there) are in the thick of it.
Last night they locked it up, while eliminating the Vancouver Canucks.
To Vancouver, I say, good try. To Todd (The Thug) Bertuzzi, I say, THHHHPPP!!! LOSER!!!
Ahem. Where was I?
Oh yes.
My Sharkies had a horrible start to the season after being a contender in the previously played season.
Goalies were playing horribly, offense couldn't score points, it was wretched.
A lot of fans were upset that GM Doug Wilson hadn't made any big moves in free agency, including me.
So Doug pulled the trigger and sent Marco Sturm, Brad Stuart and another player to Boston, in trade for Joe Thornton.
Now I cheer for both teams, being that were were no Sharks until 91.
Thornton had honestly been a disappointment.
He had shown flashes of brilliance, but his playoff chokes were legendary.
I wasn't sure what he would do with a new team.
That lasted about two minutes.
He lit up the board right off the bat.
He made every player on the ice better.
He turned Jonathon Cheechoo into a superb scorer.
Cheech had 28 last year, this year, he can knocked off 56, shattering the Sharks record, and winning the Richard Trophy in the process.
Wow.
Thornton himself put some in, and assisted on tons of others, and eliminated the opposing team being able to focus solely on Patrick Marleau, which only made Patty a better player all around.
He's won the Art Ross Trophy now.
He's made every player in teal better in every way.
Is there honestly a player that has been MORE VALUABLE to his team??
Nope.
I submit that there is no other choice for the Hart Trophy.
JOE FOR MVP!!!
If they give it to Jagr, it'll be a travesty.

I am an addict. I admit it.

2006-04-14T15:53:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile, a product will come along that gets my attention, and then I tend to go slightly overboard.
Y'ever eat one of these buggers?

They're DElicious!!
I bought them at the grocery store, 4 for a buck.
Last night.
I went back today.
And bought an even dozen.
Don't put any money on any of 'em still being here by Monday.

10 Nonexistent Women I Am In Love With

2006-04-10T22:53:00.000-07:00

Huh?
I can hear you saying it, so don't deny it.
Let me explain.
We all have celebrities we have the hots for, but how do we develop the interest?
It's incredibly rare for me to just see a picture and say I totally dig the woman in question.
I usually wind up getting interested in these women because of who they PLAY.
Are they really like their characters?
Of course not.
Sometimes, these women are MILES apart from their characters.
So here's a list of Ten Characters that I fell for, and not necessarily the actress playing her.
10. Natalie Simon-As played by Alicia Witt in Urban Legend

She's smart, sophisticated, sexy as hell, and a maniac is trying to kill her.
She doesn't lose her cool, and survives to save the day.
That's hot, but she also displays a lot of compassion in between running for her life and finally turning the tables on the maniac. I know zilch about Alicia Witt, but I understand she's pretty smart and funny.

9. Miki Saegusa-As played by Megumi Odaka in various Godzilla movies

Go ahead and laugh, but she's sweet as can be, sexy, and handle giant, radioactive, monsters with ease, and still look adorable for dinner. She's also psychic, which could be a drawback.
I fell for her instantly, but I'm gonna need to learn Japanese. I can't translate what info I do have on the actress, but she's supposed to be very nice to the fans of the movies.

8. Lorelai Gilmore-As played by Lauren Graham in the Gilmore Girls

She's smart, knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to stand up for herself. She runs a successful business, deals with various lunacy there, has a daughter that would drive most people to drink, and still manages to be incredibly hot, and the kind of single mom that would NEVER have trouble finding a guy. Say, where is Stars Hollow anyways? I've seen very little on her in the gossip rags, which I'll just give Ms Graham credit for. Obviously she doesn't need the Hollywood BS.

7. Catalina The Maid-As played by Nadine Velaquez in My Name Is Earl

We don't know much about her yet, but what I've seen, I like. She's tough and loyal to her friends, and is incredibly sweet with the not-too-bright Randy, and seems to like him as much as he likes her. I fell for her in a heartbeat. The actress herself is also on my radar, 'cause she's freaking hot. Seems to be very down to earth, too.

6. Illsa Lund-As played by Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca

Oh...yeah. She walks in, and you're smitten. Don't deny it, you were, I was, and so was every other straight male on Planet Earth. And Rick lets her go? WTF??? Biiiig difference between the sweet and loving Illsa and Ingrid Bergman, the cheating, self absorbed pain in the ass who made lots of people miserable in Hollywood. Still one of the great beauties of all time, but waaay too much trouble to deal with.

5. Kay Lawrence-As played by Julia Adams in The Creature From The Black Lagoon

Woof! Certainly an...interesting movie to watch at a young age. "Wow, it's got a cool monster in it and....whoa....she makes me feel all funny inside!" Didn't you just wanna deck the two dweebs in the movie and take her off yourself? I know I did.
So did 87 zillion movie goers. Julia Adams still laughs about the (at the time) revealing swimsuit, and seems to be a good sport about all the guys that drooled on her.

4. Dahpne Moon-As played by Jane Leeves on Frasier

Accent, brains, and incredible legs? Well no wonder Niles fell for her, I did in the very first episode myself!! She's also funny and warm and sweet. Everything you want, nothing you don't! Ms. Leeves seems to be equally sweet in real life, but is happily married. Damn.

3. Julia Sullivan-As played by Drew Barrymore in The Wedding Singer

An absolute sweetheart! And stuck with a complete shithead of a fiancee. Admit it, you weren't just rooting for Robby to get the girl, you just wanted her to get away from the idiot no matter who she wound up with. The smile, the legs, irresistable!
Now...Ms. Barrymore has had her issues over her career, but seems like she'd be really difficult to get along with. Besides, I perfer to be the one with heavy partying background.

2. Willow Rosenberg-As played by Alyson Hannigan in Buffy

Fess up, y'all had a major crush on her. Don't lie, you did. We ALL did. Vulnerable at first, yet she got stronger and better every season (and switched sides, but c'mon, that just made her hotter), who didn't want her? Oddly, Ms. Hannigan couldn't be further aprt from Willow. Raunchy, with a truly wicked sense of humour, you realize how talented she was to portray Willow as being such a naive sweetheart.

1. Bridget Jones-As played by Renee Zellweger In Bridget Jones' Diary

She wears her heart on her sleeve, can barely handle life, and is a terrific klutz, but it just doesn't matter! Accent, incredibly soft eyes that show you every emotion, and so in need of a gallant knight to rescue her. I volunteered for the job. And developed an irrational desire to beat the crap out of Hugh Grant for what his CHARACTER does. She'll never be perfect, but I was smitten from the get-go. Ahem, and yes, I desire to beat the shit out of Kenney Chesney for fooling around on the perfectly lovely and charming Ms Zellweger, who from all accounts is every bit the sweetheart that Bridget is.
I'd marry her, but I'm sure she can do better than a self employed graphic artist with a two bedroom condo.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUNG PEOPLE?

2006-03-29T10:33:00.000-08:00

Been awhile since my last post, but life just gets in the way of blogging sometimes.
At the part time gig, I deal with a lot of young people.
16-20 years is the average if you toss out the old geezer (me).
Lately, I swear that every damn one of them has a problem.
ADD
ADHD
OCD
and a whole list of other issues.
Why is this?
Is the human gene pool breaking down?
No.
Is the human species evolving?
Yes, but not like that.
I'm pretty sure I know where the problem is.
THE PARENTS.
Yep, folks, it's YOUR FAULT.
You know how you smoked the 70's away, snorted your way through the 80's & dropped X through the 90's?
Boy, those were some good times, eh?
Fucked up, stoned, wasted, blown out of your minds?
It ruined your kids.
So now we have a whole generation of kids that are pretty much worthless.
Because they need to be medicated constantly to handle their ailments.
Because YOU had to get wasted.
Thank you, ever so much for foisting off a large group of idiots on me.
I appreciate it.
When I say idiots, I'm not joking, either.
One of them is really into smoking.
He just loves them Black and Milds.
Can't get enough of them.
His father died at 38.
Of lung cancer.
Thank god my folks were straight arrows.
No weed, no coke, no nothing.
I'm clean as a whistle, too.
And MY kids will be in charge of yours someday because of it.
The meek?
Bullshit, the sober and smart will inherit the earth.
The incredibly fucked up will be cheap labor.
Mwuahahahahaha!

It's 3:09 AM, why am I still awake?

2006-03-14T03:10:00.000-08:00

Insomnia's an odd one to figure out.
Is there something on my mind?
Bills? No. Paid up this month.
Work? No. Going OK.
Relationship? Ha. As if I had one to fret over.
Nope, 3:09 AM, wide awake....and blogging.
Can I take something?
Sure.
I don't mind being a zombie in the morning.
Or beating my alarm clock with a hockey stick to shut it off, before I angrily go back to sleep.
I've always been a night owl though.
Maybe it goes back to the old days of clubbing.
Staggering in around 4 AM, pissed out of my mind.
Collapsing in a heap.
Gritting the teeth to get through the workday.
Swearing to yourself that all you need is an hour's sleep, and you're fine.
Deciding to head for home, have a nice meal, and get a good night's sleep.
Whazzup?
WHO's playing WHERE?
I am so there.
I'll just have a beer, maybe two, and no more.
Tsk, tsk, and it starts all over again.

Do human heads get bigger naturally?

2006-03-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I really don't think so.
Look at Barry Bonds as a rookie.
Look at him recently.
A new book is coming out soon with some pretty credible evidence that Bonds knowingly, and frequently used steroids in an effort to catch Mark McGwire.
I just ask you to look.
Do human heads go through growth spurts in your late 30's?
They do if steroids are involved.
Is his record tainted?
Yes.
YES.
YES!!!!
They may not have been banned until 2002, but Barry cheated.
So did McGwire, for that matter.
I don't care one way or other about the rules, and if it was against them or not at the time.
Roger Maris didn't do steroids.
He worked hard.
He played by the rules.
He played fair.
And now this steroid freak has the record that rightfully belongs to Roger.
Bonds is chasing the all time home run record, too.
That's currently owned by Hammering Hank Aaron.
THE man.
He played fair, too.
He worked damned hard to get it.
He had to face racism and other assorted bullshit to get it, too.
And his record is about to be broken by the same steroid freak?
The guy who lists Willie Mays as his Godfather, and we all know Willie was a straight shooter.
The guy who's father played many a year in the Majors, and never cheated.
And this...punk, who shoots up to get his muscle, is gonna own all of the records?

Dear Bud Selig,
If you do nothing else, please rectify this situation.
Pro sports are a joke.
No one believes in our athletes anymore, because of people like Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds and Rafael Palmerio.
Do the right thing.
Strike their records from the books.
Let us still believe in Roger Maris, the Babe and Hammering Hank.
They did it with heart, skill and guts.
These new guys just cheat.
Let the good guys win, and let the bad guys get what they deserve.

A musical collaboration worth waiting for!

2006-03-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

Under the Covers- Matthew Sweet & Susannah Hoffs

The record company originally wanted to market this under the name Sid n' Suzie, but wisely decided to capitalize on the names of these two, beign that they both have pretty solid reps in the music biz.
Good call.
Even better record.
This duo came about via the Austin Powers movies where both Hoffs and Sweet performed in the brief musical clips.
Luckily for us, they decided to keep working together.
No originals on this, just covers, but my, oh, my, are they some well chosen and brilliantly executed covers.
Absolutely NO ONE should be surprised by a Beatles song popping up here, they tackle And My Bird Can Sing and make it their own. Hoffs effortlessly delivers the lead vocal, while Sweet chimes in on the bridge, and it sounds perfect. Sweet wisely uses his usual cast of bandmates (Ric Menck, Greg Liesz, etc) and they make a statement for power pop. Clean, razor sharp hooks, harmonies, and the ENTHUSIASM they all show make this record a classic. You can tell if a performer really cares about their material, and there is no doubt that this bunch is in seventh heaven covering these classics. They jump all over hits like Monday Monday, Different Drum (Hoffs can't match Linda's pipes, but the backing is killer), and Neil Young's Cinnamon Girl and the results just sound soooo good.
This hits the shelves on April 18th, and if the 15th doesn't leave you in too bad of shape, pick it up.
It's perfect for a warm spring afternoon....

Craptacular Classic of the Week! #2

2006-03-02T09:39:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay in posting, real life can be a bitch at times.
Ahem.
This week's ....special film is the truly awful Flesh Eating Mothers.

Yep, that's the title.
It's baaaaad.
Reeeeaaaallllly bad.
However, it's so bad, it's pretty good in spots.
The plot: The small town stud who's getting pretty much all the women actually is...
aggghhh, transmitting a virus! Luckily for the flick fans, it's not just some random STD,
it's....a virus that makes women devour their children.
Yeah. Right.
On the horribly insane plot scale, I give it a solid 10.
Someone actually sold this idea.
One kid comes home to find...Mom has eaten his baby brother.
Another is let out of his room early from being punished, and Mom tells him all about how veal is made.
While giving him a glass of milk.
Then she bites his forehead.
The kids are determined to not go without a fight.
Good for them.
We get scintillating dialogue like:
"Okay, you lure her out of the house, and I'll hit her over the head with a baseball bat."
"OK, but be careful, she's still my mother."
Turns out the virus is a mutant space virus.
How do we know this?
They show it!
On a microscope!
And it's...animated.
Very poorly, I might add.
Hilarious.
No one can act, the FX are bargain basement, the script is just wretched, and the director does not appear to have the skills neccessary to shoot a z-grade commercial, let alone a feature film.
Damnit though, it's FUN.
We're in on the joke.
The actors know it's crap.
Everyone knows it's crap.
Not a bad way to kill 90 minutes.
and it gets......

and the rest of you USA athletes?

2006-02-23T00:56:00.000-08:00

You're no prizes either!
Ooohh, the big bad Bode Miller, he of the, um, well, failure in pretty much everything he was supposed to do?
You had 97 magazine covers going in, and choked on everything?
Loser.
Apolo Anton Ohno?
Oooh, a BRONZE medal.
Christ, YOKO Ono could have done better than that.
Speed skating? Shani Miller and Chad Hedrick, seeing which one can be the bigger prima donna?
Oooh classy.
At least the snowboarders came through for us.
Thank God for punk kids who listen to the Offspring, eh?
So far USA:
18 medals, and 216 athletes
Austria, 19 medals, 101 athletes
Norway, 18 medals, 84 athletes
Jeez, we're sad looking out there.
Well, we'll hang our hats on little Sasha Cohen, and if she comes through, she'll get a Wheaties box.
Right before she cashes in for every penny she can get out of it, and throws the medal underneath the bed, never to be seen again as she gets ready for her starring role on a shitty FOX reality show.
God, I miss Bonnie Blair.

USA! USA! USA! Uh....no, not this year

2006-02-22T22:43:00.000-08:00

Well, golly gee whiz Wally, the USA choked out in hockey over in Turin.
I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm not. (Canada stunk up the joint too, so they get no slack in this rant, sorry, my Canuck brethren) We sent a bunch of old guys over to play on the biggest stage in the world. This was it, the almighty OLYMPICS, and we sent old bums, washed up hacks, and nobody of any RECENT accomplishments.
I heard lots about how it was so and so's last chance to win a gold medal.
Pardon me, I'm going to be blunt here.

Ready?
WHO THE FUCK CARES????
We sent Chris Chelios, who is approaching his 67th birthday, Mike (The Crybaby) Modano, who hasn't been a significant player since about '99, Robert (The Sieve) Esche, Bret (I'm still here 'cause I married Kristy Yamaguchi) Hedican & Derian (The Benchwarmer) Hatcher, all washed up, none of them major contributors in the NHL, and THEY got to wear the Red White & Blue and fold like a cheap suit?
What a fucking disgrace.
I know every one of these old farts wants to hang on to some glory, and get to wear that medal proudly, but they never could, and they never will, because they lack something that Eruzione, Broten, Craig, Suter, and the rest of those proud boys from Lake Placid had.
Class.
Determination.
Teamwork.
Herb Brooks was honest when he said he needed guys that were too dumb to know they couldn't win. They just went out onto the ice and played their hearts out, gave 110% on every shift, and beat the entire world.
They stayed together, they ate together, they had each other, and no one else. They were the nobodies, the kids, and they never had a chance, but when it came time to gutcheck it, they delivered in spades. And not just to Team USA fans, they delivered the game to a new level, whoa, hockey was on TV again, it was cool, and when these kids took to the ice in the NHL, people came out to watch.
The clowns we sent were already IN the NHL.
They were supposed to be better than those college kids could ever be.
But they have too much to deal with, Modano bitched about having to deal with hotel accommodations. I'm sorry, Mike, but if you had stayed in the Village (you know, like the common people do), instead of needing to have 4 star room service and a broadband connection so you can check your stock portfolio, you might have spent a little, oh, I dunno, TIME with your teammates? Maybe skated together more than ONCE before going out to play? Maybe worked on the ol' teamwork? Gotten your shit together perhaps?
Like the college boys that weren't supposed to be good enough to win did?
Maybe you might have even thought of the TEAM first, instead of your personal inconvenience.
Maybe if you and Chelios and the other bums had said "Hey, we stink these days, if we REALLY want to see the USA wearing gold, maybe we should put the best team together we can, instead of old guys like us?"
But they didn't. It was me first.

Guys, PLEASE take those jerseys off.
You're not fit to wear them.
Now those boys back in 1980, the ones who endured long bus rides,
cramped quarters and early morning practices,
they DESERVED to be Team USA.
They'll always be there in our memories,
young and eager, shining faces charging hard,
giving everything they had for the Red White & Blue.
You're not fit to carry their gear.

Craptacular Classic of the Week!

2006-02-18T02:20:00.000-08:00

Oh, sure, lots of people go and review films.
They get all high falutin' and act like they're soooo sophisticated 'cause they're reviewing something with plot, quality dialogue, skilled actors and moderately accomplished production values.
What about the films that happen to be, er, lacking in those areas?
Don't they deserve a chance?
Won't someone review them?
Thank God for me, eh?
When there is a film so crappy, that no one of any reputable writing skills will take it on, heck, I see my niche right there!
Let me begin this new weekly feature with a wonderfully shitty flick called...
are you ready for this one?

Hard Rock Zombies
No, I'm not kidding.

This meandering pile of celluloid excrement was made in 1985.
My guess is that standards were pretty low back then.
Our Plot:
A hot looking 80's babe with poofed up hair, and dressed in slutty attire is hitching, and some horny young men pick her up, looking for fun. Bad move. She entices them to skinny dip with her, and DUH DUH DUH! KILLS them!
Hey, waitaminute, who is the guy in the suit taking pictures of the whole thing while a pair of midgets cavort around him?
We move to a bar, where a group of talentless cretins are doing a very bad job of lip synching to a horribly bad attempt to meld Journey with Loverboy. (Yes, the music is THAT bad)
The drummer can't even be bothered to pretend to play. He just stands there and hits the drums every once in awhile, and never in time with the tune. The mulleted bass player is the singer.
They are playing this show because their manager has lined up a big time music biz type to see their next show in....Grand Guginol?
The singer, Jesse seems to be resistant to the manager's attempt to publicize the band. He storms out of photo session only to meet...THE GIRL. She acts coy, and tell him not to play in her town.
Why? So we can kill another 90 minutes?
That'll do.
They are on the road, and they....see a hot blonde hitchhiker! Oooh, let's pick her up! Less than a minute later, she tells them to pull off the road at her house, and the band can stay there.
Suspicious of a woman hitching less than a mile from home?
Not this bunch of wool-headed bufoons. They cavort in town. Townies don't like them. Apparently they have musical taste.
They're warned to leave. They don't.
We go back to the slutty blonde's house. Her grandma and grandpa are getting it on.
Ugh. Ewww.
The midgets are watching.
Double ewww.
Band gets busted. The Girl tries to bail them out.
Slutty Girl does though, and the band rehearses at her place. Grandma and Grandpa watch, as the midgets attempt to electrocute the band. Mullet Man saves the day, so the denizens of the house kill them in other ways.
Manager is having dinner after funeral. Grandma tells about how happy funerals can be.
Grandpa rages, and reveals......that he is Hitler.
I kid you not.
No, seriously, he's Hitler.
He has big plans.
But, way back in the van, our bass playing dipshit, discovered a set of notes, that when played bring the dead back to life!!!
The Girl has been given a cassette of the tune, she plays it, and our heroes come back to life to sort of save the day.
They even play several numbers after death. Sadly, the tune is not improved. The agent type wants to sign them up however.
He's among the braindead here.
They also....strut, for lack of a better word. Sort of a combination of the Robot, and race-walking. They look seriously retarded doing this, I kid you not. They kill Hitler and Co. The Townies are worried about the zombies. Carnage ensues. The bad guys come back to life, the good guys do, the townies do, and nobody has the slightest clue as to what the fuck is going on.
My guess is because the director didn't have a clue either.
When all is over The Girl and the manager have sorta hooked up, but she still has feelings for dead Jessie.

I looked this stinking pile up on IMDB. Apparently it was made to be part of another shitty flick, called American Drive In, and was only supposed to be what the people in that movie were watching onscreen. (Those poor bastards) The producers said, "Aw, what the hell, we've got $137.50 into it so far, let's drop another $43.26 on it and call it a movie!"

Now, when I grade flicks, I base them on value received=money spent.
Movies like this cannot use such a scale.
Craptacular flicks need a different scale.
Flushes 1-4, ie, how many flushes it takes to wipe the stench of this flick away.

They're STILL whining?

2006-02-13T15:49:00.000-08:00

Man, these Seattle sports fans just don't get it, do they?
Do they really think that writing in to every sportswriter on the 'net is gonna help?
93 million nasty letters and e-mails?
Oh, I'm sure the NFL will happily replay the game with a different head ref just for you whiners.
Congrats Seattle!
You HAVE a title now!
The Biggest Bunch Of Snivellers Ever.
BBOSE!

Know WHY they're so upset?
Shaun Alexander won't be back.
He'll get much more money elsewhere.
He seemed to like the Carolina players and coaching
staff he hung out with at the ProBowl.
No Alexander?
Do the numbers 5-11 mean anything people?
That's a likely scenario without #37.
The Niners will get better, especially if they pick up LenDale White in the draft.
The Rams aren't planning on being doormats, either.
The Cardinals, they're not gonna...
well, OK, they'll continue to stink up the joint.
And since the realignment, the Seahawks will get to play the AFC West again this year.
Denver, possibly with TO on their side.
San Diego, Antonio Gates, LaDanian Tomlinson, Drew Brees.
The Raiders back with some good ol' fashioned nastiness and a legend leading the team back to glory.
The Chiefs, Tony Gonzalez, Priest Holmes, Larry Johnson.

Ball's in your court fellas, Alexander will cost you a BUNDLE.
And if you have dreams of going back to the SuperBowl, you better pay it.
Or it'll be 5-11, and none of this 12th man nonsense, there'll be 10 thousand empty seats as they slide into oblivion.
But keep on whining about the calls in a game that's over, pay no attention to reality.
And they wonder why they never win anything in this town.

I loooove a good scary book!

2006-02-13T11:41:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of good scary books.
Even since I was a little kid, I'd read the scariest stuff I could find.
Didn't matter if it gave me nightmares.
Didn't matter if I was up until 4 AM.
The scarier the better.
Now here's the trouble I have these days.
I tend to find an author, and stick with them.
Once I find someone, and like their work, I'll search out everything they've done.
Then I wait (im)patiently for their new work.
I get spooked about trying new authors.
Weirdly, it's not a money thing, I'm not worried about spending the money on a book that I don't know about.
I just HATE being disappointed by a second rate book.
So folks, I need your help!
Here's a list of some of my favorite authors and books.
If you have something you think I might like, post it!!
1)Bentley Little-He's the man, The Store, The Policy, The Resort, etc.
He builds a typical, All American tale, a nice family or people who seem to be just fine,
and then he turns it all around and drops them right into horror.
2)PN Elrod-Not quite horror, but her various vampires have all been good.
3)Phil Rickman-Bases his stuff on ancient myths, and builds some slowly creeping terror. Candlenight & December are especially good.
4)Stephen King-Not as good as he used to be, but has created some darn good tales of spookiness, Rose Red is still one of the best haunted house tales ever.
5)Simon Clark-Up and comer, The Tower is one good haunted house story, waiting to read more!
A guy who SHOULD be writing more horror-
Raymond Feist-Midkemia rocks, no two ways about it, but jeez, if you ever read his Faerie Tale, you'd know that this guy is a potential superstar in horror. Write some more, willya?

My OVERRATED LIST:
Anne Rice-maybe you have to be a chick, tried to start on her Chronicles, was bored out of my skull halfway through and gave up.
Richard Laymon-Ohhh, it's a scary place, and there's legends about it, and we get exposition up the ass, and...it's one crazy guy who kills people. 400 pages of buildup and supposed clues about what we're getting into, and let's get this book over with, and use the easiest plot ideas in the world to do it. Blech.

So if y'all have some ideas on authors to try, let me know!!! Give me the best possible book to start on, and I'll take it from there!

Cartoons of Muhammad?

2006-02-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm gonna revisit my stance on this:
Do any of these nutcases have a sense of humour?
I understand, really, it's offensive to your faith, fine, but setting embassies on fire?
If you have a beef with the people who did the cartoons?
I can see that.
If you have a beef with the newspaper that published them?
I see that.
Trying to bomb the embassy that is staffed with people who had nothing whatsoever to do with either the cartoon or the publishing of it?
OK, you're officially on the train to crazy land.

To his credit, Pat Robertson has never burned down a building over an unflattering depiction of Jesus or God.
Nasty letters and the preaching of damnation, sure, burning buildings, no.
When the actions of hard core fundamentalists make HIM look rational and sane?
Yep, you're nuts.
(Pat, if you happen to be reading this, do not take this as a sign that God wants you to firebomb anyone, anywhere, OK?)

NOW, having said my little bit there, apparently ANY depiction of Muhammad is a sin in Islam.
I'm OK with that, I respect their faith.
Then again.....

What's so offensive about a depiction of Muhammad?

I don't think the Champ would mind, would he?
He certainly merchandised himself well enough over the years, didn't he?
Jeez, people, lighten up....
btw, follow the link to T-shirt Hell over on the sidebar there if you like the shirt, they've several others.....

Bloody tired of hatred and stupidity

2006-02-06T14:08:00.000-08:00

It's no secret to anyone who knows me, I'm NOT happy with the way this country keeps shifting further to the right.
I don't like bigotry, intolerance and hatred.
Seems any event, place or what have you that the extreme right doesn't like here, they're picketing, calling names, threatening people with damnation, etc.
I had a protestor once tell me I was going to hell for feeding a baby killer.
I pointed out that
a.) I was required by my job to deliver the pizzas wherever they were ordered from,
b.) a woman's right to choose was protected by law, and
c.) I was reasonably certain that Dr. Emmet J. Hornsby, Opthamologist, hadn't killed any babies that I knew of, and I really didn't think I should assume he had unless I had some evidence.
Plus, he tipped pretty good.

Regardless of my rational train of thought, this nitwit informed me I was still going to burn in hell.
For delivering pizza to an eye doctor?
(if anyone knows WHERE in the Bible that's considered a certain trip to damnation, please inform me. I am curious about stuff like that.)
In other words, this idiot assumed anyone going near the same bulding where doctors performed abortions was equally deserving of his hate, agression, and who knows, a bullet in the head, as this was right around the time several abortion doctors had been shot.
If anything, it's gotten worse here.
We now have people on our Supreme Court who think like that.
Our pResident thinks like that.
A majority of Congress thinks like that.
I beleive I'll see more of this stupidity every day.
Spooky shit, no?
Maybe it's time to start planning for a new address to move the Castle to....perhaps further north?

More on that later, I'm still making fun of Seahawk fans right now.

Seattle not so super?

2006-02-06T11:31:00.001-08:00

Well, duh.

Oh yes, the fans will scream bloody murder about bad calls, but ya know, every team has bad calls.
GET OVER IT.
If the Seahawks had won by 54 points would they be crying?
The Steelers got robbed against Indy, but they just gritted it out and didn't whine about it.
They also won the game.
Yeah, Holmgren snivelling and crying at the refs all game long.
Nothing makes them fonder of a coach than when he won't shut up.
Hasselbeck, choke, choke, choke....
Pressure's on, it's the 4th quarter, gotta manage the clock, um, what play am I running?
Huh?
Wha..?
Oh, I just killed two minutes of the clock by being a dumbass?
Jerremy Stevens opened his mouth before the game.
A lot.
He also apprently opened his hands.
Wide open.
He couldn't have caught a cold on Sunday.
Oooh, one big catch.
Several much bigger drops.
Now who looks dumb?
It isn't Joey Porter, that's for sure.

Now who showed the guts?
3rd and 28, broken play, Big Ben's running for his life, protection's broken down, and he scrambles, and STOPS ON A DIME so he doesn't cross the line of scrimmage, and fires a great pass for a first!
Winner, winner, winner.
Major stud.
A city mourns for a lost opportunity.
Then they need to makes themselves feel better.
"We were just happy to be here"
That's not the attitude that wins big games.
It's why they never have, and most likely never will. Note my entries:
Who predicted a Pittsburgh win?
Me.
Way back when the playoffs started.
I was off on the score though.
Damn.
Next year?
Raiders all the way!
Silver & Black forever!
Just win baby!!

For all of you who have wondered why Grace Park and Tricia Helfer get all the publicity...

2006-02-04T21:16:00.000-08:00

I humbly submit the incredibly lovely Katee Sackhoff, known to geeks the world over as Lt. Kara (Starbuck) Thrace.

Damn she's hot.
Every bit as hot as the other two.
It's just the ROLE that isn't glamorous.
Watch the Sci-Fi behind the scenes episode.
Trust me.
Way hot.
Hopefully she'll warm up the frigid winter for ya Steve...

I'm tired of fake products on clothing

2006-02-04T18:07:00.000-08:00

Ye gods, I'm at the mall (ugh), and I just love all the faux crap people are wearing.
"Bob's Stuffed Beavers-Since 1985"
Wow, If I was, I dunno, 9, I'd think that was cool.
"Woody's Builders-Erecting since 1972"
Oh, yeah, hilarious, if you're in 5th grade.
What is with people's need to have a fake brand plastered all over themselves?
Do they realize it makes them look like idiots?
(Say it with me, Ren style, "You EEDIOT!")
Or there's the geniuses with numbers and non-existent team names.
"Fossil 1954 Football Champs" Which league was that?
The League of Bufoons Who PAY Million Dollar Companies to Advertise for Them?
"Yeah, this shirt is sooo coool! I paid 38 dollars for it at Abercrombie & Fitch! I can't wait to go drive more business their way so I can pay even more next time!!"

I don't buy stuff like that.
I buy colors and style of clothing that I like, and what my friends are currently wearing has zero bearing on my decisions.
I tend to make up my own mind on these matters.
I'm weird that way.
I also loooove the new brands out there, to capitalize on American stupidity and the desire to be "cool".
Hollister.
Oooh, their shop in the mall looks so cool.
They have, like, pictures of surfers and stuff.
Dude. That's like, so rad.
They really go for the surf look, and the kids RUN to buy it.
Gotta have it. No matter what.
It's like California cool, and surfing, and whoa, it's just such a cool place.
Aha.
Some marketing genius (and I do not use that term lightly) really put one over on the brain dead youth of our nation.
Have you ever BEEN to Hollister, California?
I used to live not too far from it.
It's..oh, I dunno, about 65 miles from water.
It's a roasting hot and truly hellish inferno druing the summer as there's nary a breeze in sight.
In the 100's on a regular basis.
Lovely place to die of heatstroke.
And they've sold it to the kids as this cool, surfer, Santa Cruz-like place via some second rate, sweatshop made clothing.
And the kids can't wait to advertise it for them by paying outrageous prices.
Geniuses.
But people identify by what brand they wear.
I see kids that every single item of clothing they have is by Nike or Reebok, or whatever.
Slaves to fashion, and supporters of slavery in other countries where the crap is made.
I can see an item or two here with a logo on it.
Hey, I had an IZOD shirt in high school.
But every single stitch of clothing by one company?
Actually, I did have stuff like that.
Usually from JC Penney's.
I didn't brag about it though.

Now, I do wear some stuff with logos on it.
Logos of things I actually support, know about, and care about.
I'm a Penn State fan. Got a couple of sweatshirts and t-shirts.
Watched almost every game this year.
Loved the Orange Bowl.
I'm Silver & Black when it comes to the pros.
Watched most of the games this year, and have for 30-odd years.
I love the Beatles, and have a number of shirts with the lads on them.
Been a fan since I was 7.
However, I wouldn't wear something that I didn't know about.

I spotted a kid wearing an AC/DC shirt the other day. It was a Back In Black shirt.
Told him it was one of may favorite albums.
He didn't know it was an album.
He didn't know who the BAND was!
Why you wearing a shirt of a band when you don't even know who they are?
It looks cool.
Ye gods.
When I was that age, and you couldn't get the shirts at every store in the world or via the internet, you had to go to the shows to get the shirts.
They were a badge of honor.
You showed your allegiance to your band on your chest.
You lived or died by how cool your taste was.
The kids who went to the 82 Pyromania Def Leppard shows?
The ones that got the Joe Elliot british flag muscle shirts?
They were the coolest kids on the block.
You used to taunt and abuse the kids wearing the Journey shirts. (I still do, btw, they were just lame)
And now kids are wearing the shirts, and they don't even know who the bands are, let alone ever having seen them.
I feeeeeellll ssooooooooo old.

If you like the show, you'll LOVE the book!

2006-02-01T14:59:00.000-08:00

I just finished Mr. Monk Goes To The Firehouse, the first in a series of Monk novels written by Lee Goldberg, who wrote several episodes of the show, and also many other TV shows.
How good is it?
I'll go with superb.
Having written for the show, Goldberg's familiarity with his characters shows. Most TV show novelizations range from pretty good, (SOME Trek stuff) to wretched (haven't seen a Buffy book yet that didn't suck), but this falls into the excellent category.
We get a series of apparently unrelated crimes, and Monk winds up having to deal with some truly horrid experiences to solve this one.
It's written from the viewpoint of Natalie, and now this character makes more sense than ever. We know she's a widow, and that she has to work pretty hard to keep things together for her and her daughter. What you don't know from the show, is how much of her own issues with losing her husband she sees reflected in Monk's own demons. It's quite touching to see how she reveals more and more of those troubles while relating to Monk's own issues in a way the Sharona Fleming character never could. (If the decision to change characters was based solely on money, bad move guys, if you had the Natalie character on the back burner and realized you could do a lot more with her, then kudos on a job well done.) I challenge anyone who flat out says that the Sharona character was better to read this book, and see if you still feel that way.
Now, all seriousness aside, it's a damned funny book.
To begin with, the thought of Adrian Monk having to move out of his house due to termites, is hilarious. Seeing his issues with hotels, is even funnier. "If the wallpaper under the sink doesn't match up, what kind of workmanship can you expect in the rest of the place?"
His solution to trying to survive in Natalie's house is a good chunk of the book, and it's outstanding.
The whole thing reads like a superb episode of the show, and in fact, you can picture every single bit of it in your mind.
Try it, you'll like it.

What else am I reading?
Strangers-Simon Clark: I discovered this guy by accident, but am most happy with it. This is good, apocolyptic horror, as a disease run rampant destroys civilization as we know it, and the survivors are trying to get through it as best as they can. Our hero is Greg Valdiva, and he alone can sense if anyone carries the disease, which takes months to show symptoms. H'es employed as the executioner by a small town that has used it's isolation to survive and lock the outside world out. If anyone new shows up, and Valdiva sense they're carriers, it's out with his trusty axe, and wham! No more new guy. How he deals with being such a man, and his attempts to find some sanity in a world gone mad make for an excellent read.
I rate horror novels on the Nights Sleeping with the Lights On scale (NSLO).
0 is not even remotely scary, and a 10 means waking up with the cold shivers at 4:41 in the morning.
This book's a solid 5 nighter.

This one's a MUST READ!

2006-01-31T14:40:00.000-08:00

http://maintcoders-revenge.blogspot.com/
Nice post about the State of the Union!!

I been workin' on de railroad.....

2006-01-31T01:19:00.000-08:00

Work.work.work.work.
I run my own business as a graphic designer, and it's growing, not quite at the pace I'd like, but it IS getting there.
So just in case, I've got a part time gig which smooths over some rough spots on the financial side of things.
I do both, from 7 am, until 10 pm, Monday through Friday., Then, as if I don't have enough to do, my former manager (and best friend)...(no, she's still my best friend, just former manager at the part time gig) offered me a chance to wait some tables as I do have some excellent customer service skills. (waitaminute, aw, crap, now she IS my boss again, so that would make it...oh, the hell with it)
Where was I?
Oh yes, working.
So I added 9+ hours on Sunday to my schedule.
I really, really miss having free time.
People say, "Well, you're home by 10:15, you can still get a good night's sleep".
Uh-HUH.
5 hours dealing with lunatic clientele, teenage employees, (but whyyyyyy can't I wear the railroad spike through my lip?), antique equipment, and a building that's coming down around my ears.
Could you just go right to sleep after that?
Nah, you have to unwind.
So I do some internet stuff, write the ol' blog, check out the message boards, and wind up with some TV.
I usually get to bed around 2.
Damn, is it 7 ALREADY?
I need a vacation.
Far away from all of this.
What's the Yukon like this time of year?
I'll bet there aren't a lot of people there.
Where else is damn near deserted this time of year?
Siberia?
The top of the Matterhorn?
North Dakota?
As long as no one asks me how to get to the &*%$#@ Space Needle, I'll be happy.
I'll give 50 Bonus Points for the best suggestion far away from the madding crowd.

Why you wanna REMAKE a classic?

2006-01-31T00:53:00.000-08:00

On the Verdict, I spotted the news that the classic Ingrid Bergman film, Gaslight, is going to be remade.
WHY?
Is Hollywood, that bastion of new, and inventive ideas going to find an actress as beautiful and talented as Bergman?
No.
Can't be done.
She was one of a kind.
Will they at least maintain the spooky Victorian London setting?
Nah, it'll be set in Hollywood or Beverly Hills.
(Just so they can claim it's a "reimagining" of the original, mind you)
It'll be filled with lame-ass quick cuts, third rate talent, and won't be one TENTH as spooky as the original was.
They'll have to have a "cool" soundtrack, so we can listen to some wretched band of hacks who are currently enjoying more fame and success than they'll ever deserve.
It'll be on video shelves within two months of stinking up the screen at our local multiplexes.
And then, after it's been declared a complete disaster, some jack-ass in Hollywood will bitch once again, "It's all the fault of kids downloading movies!"
Ahem.
Mr. Executive?
Could it possibly the fact that you're putting out pure, grade-A, 100% crap?
Is there a possibility that your sinking profits could be a result of your poor choices?
I saw a TON of flicks last year.
Horror. Comedy. Drama. Chick flicks (hey, you get dragged to them some times).
I saw many a "blockbuster" flick.
Every single one of them was mediocre at best.
In 2005, I saw ONE film, one film only that blew me away with it's originality, it's cleverness, and the gosh darned fun I had watching it.
It was Wallace and Gromit-Curse of the WereRabbit.
The finale to Star Wars, Harry Potter, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, King Kong, big box office numbers, but Hollywood still claimed things were going bad.
Maybe if there were 50 movies as good as Wallace & Gromit?
I mean, it's just a suggestion.

Why kant Jonny speell gud?

2006-01-27T13:06:00.000-08:00

If you'll note, I link to several other Blogs.
Read them, and notice something; they are all articulate, and they can actually spell the language they're using.
Why has the Internet brought us a generation of retards that can't spell?
Here's a sampling from a typical sports message board:
"YOU FUCKING LOOSERS SUCK! STOP YOU'RE WHINGING! YOU QUATERBACK SUX!"
Oh, me, oh, my, wherever do we begin?
I suppose "LOOSER" is as good as any.
The word you are attempting to use, my inarticulate and possibly neanderthal friends, is LOSER.
There is only ONE O in it. Loose is a completely different word than lose. Looser isn't a word to describe fans of a certain team. (That would be spelled S-E-A-H-A-W-K-S F-A-N-S for those curious about such matters)
Moving on to YOU'RE.
Used correctly, it is YOU ARE, as in "You ARE an incoherent moron". For the usage you ARE attempting, it should be YOUR, as in, "Please cease YOUR mangling of the English language".
Whinging? There are apparently a number of dolts who think this is the correct spelling of whining.
Sad, no?
Then my favorite, the usage of YOU, when they are attempting to use YOUR.
"Send you files to this e-mail address: blithering_idiot@aol.com."
Can they not spell this?
Or are they too damn lazy to type that extra letter?
I'm going to place the blame, not on the internet, but on the parents.
My mother and father were extremely well spoken, having mastered the tongue that their parents spoke. They went through school and learned how to speak, write, and otherwise express themselves in a clear, and coherent manner. Most of today's parents were part of the 70's and 80's when "Hey, dude, let's party!" was considered a superb bit of dialogue. They also had piss poor schooling by babysitters instead of teachers. Then they added massive drug and alcohol abuse to the mix, and gee, their kids are complete retards. I'm from the same time period, and yet, I too, am able to express myself in a manner that others can understand.
Why is this?
Because my parents gave a shit about my education.
When the teachers dropped the ball, they didn't.
When I misspoke, I got a warning first, and a smack if I continued to incorrectly use the language.
Harsh, to some, but it works.
I know there are those who say, "Oh, it's only the internet, it's not a big deal."
Wrong.
It is a big deal.
I got an e-mail from the CEO of one of my clients.
It was filled with the most wretched examples of writing, spelling and grammar that you could find.
This man is 45.
I could express myself better at 8.
How dumb are HIS kids?
How dumb will THEIR kids be?
"Look! Bonk make FIRE!"?
Or perhaps another generation or two down the line?
"Urrghh. Uggh. Huuuhhh."
That will be part of the valedictorian's speech at Stanford, Class of 2056.

Shout out to everyone I know, or have ever met!

2006-01-27T13:05:00.000-08:00

There.
You've all been mentioned.
Quit whining.

I do love the movies....

2006-01-24T14:02:00.000-08:00

I've loved movies ever since I was a little kid. My first ever memory of going to the movies was That Darn Cat! I couldn't have been more than 4 or 5. My favorite kinds of movies are pure popcorn. You know, flicks that aren't all that hot, plot or acting-wise, but they entertain you. Pretty good FX are a must on a good popcorn movie. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. King Kong. Jurassic Park. The Mummy. No big, long winded message, no eloquent dialogue, just a good thrill ride of a flick.
I don't look down on them, my rating is based on pure entertainment value. The top price for a movie around the Puget Sound is 8.75 If I feel I got 8.75 worth of movie, it gets a top rating. Grading a FILM however, takes a little more work.
Do you like to talk about movies?
Want to meet a bunch of other people who do as well?
www.dvdverdict.com is the place to go.
They have reviews posted 6 days a week (most weeks) by a team of dedicated, diverse and well rounded critics.
They give you the details on picture and sound quality, let you know how good the extras are, etc. The database is easily searchable, and each movie has links to imdb.com.
What more can you ask for?
Oh, yeah, they also have the Jury Room.
A messageboard dedicated to opinions, mini-reviews by non staff, what we're all watching, and a whole heap of other subjects. Books, music, etc all get discussed there, and by a truly colorful cast of characters.
Some of my faves include:
Addison Dewitt, the snide, articulate and cultured gent with a sharp wit,
Molly, whose avatar reflects her quite accurately, tough, smart, and she takes no BS from anyone,
Steve Powers, a likeable wiseguy from the frozen north with a penchant for Indiana Jones,
Mike Jackson, a Judge for the Verdict, and the main tech guy who keeps the site running, he's a fan of Tim Burton movies,
Chris McLinch & Erick Harper who both do a lot to dispell the myth that Republicans are all swine, and they do it with wise words and kindness, not preaching,
Chris Sax, the SHIT STIRRER supreme, who can puncture anyone's self importance with just a few words, and he starts arguments extremely well (I no longer fall for his bait),
Sara, the film student who wants to be a pro critic, and Tim Burton's biggest fan,
and GoBear, passionate defender of the Left, and extremely nice guy.
They're all there on a daily basis, and they're all extremely welcoming to new people, drop by, sign up, and tell us about your favorite movies!

Is Seattle Super?

2006-01-23T14:52:00.000-08:00

Well, the Seaturkeys are SuperBowl bound, are they gonna win it all?
Highly doubtful.
Why?
Here's why.

Does this man look like he wants his final game to be a loss?
If you are not a football fan, this is Jerome Bettis.
Nicknamed The Bus.
Nine years ago, the Rams told him he was too old and too slow, and then they cut his ass.
Bill Cowher and Pittburgh thought differently, and signed him up.
The SuperBowl will be his last game.
In Detroit.
He's FROM Detroit.
His entire family will be there.
Every single one of his friends will be there.
This man will have a home field advantage.
He was gonna retire last year.
The Steelers lost the AFC Championship.
He wanted to retire.
Ben Roethlisberger begged him not to.
He promised him if he came back, they'd get that SuperBowl Trophy.
Last week when Bettis fumbled, nine different players told him not to worry, Bettis had carried the team on his shoulders at times, they were going to carry him.
Ben Roethlisberger won't let him down.
Bill Cowher won't let him down.
The rest of the team won't let him down.
And Jerome Bettis, who for every single carry of his incredible career has been nothinig but class and dignity, won't let HIMSELF down.
Steelers by 10.
The Bus has a big day.
He retires a CHAMPION.

Mini-review of "Hoodwinked"

2006-01-23T14:29:00.000-08:00

Saw this with my best friend on Saturday.
The gist is that when Red Riding Hood wanders into Grandma's cottage, she discovers the Big Bad Wolf dressed as Grandma, and a woodsman smashes into the house to save the day...or does he?
The police arrest EVERYONE on the scene and Chief Grizzly wants to lock them all up, but the suave Mr. Flippers wants to investigate further.
It seems the recipes that fuel the various goody shops all over the forrest are being stolen, but by whom?
Is Red more than just a cute little girl, is there something she's hiding?
Is the Big Bad Wolf really innocent, and what does he have to hide?
Is sweet little old Grandma more than what she seems?
And just WHO is the musclebound woodsman, and why did he crash in the house at the right time?
The answers involve a hitsquad of skiiers, a cute lil' bunny rabbit, some wild stunts, and a truly heinous plot to control the goody market.
It is a LOT of fun, very silly and goofy, and you can take the kiddies.
The bad: The animation blows. The characters look as if they were assembled by different studios. Red is very poorly done, looking very stilted, Grandma looks like a rookie animators attempt at a Rankin Bass look, the Wolf likes a refugee from Madagascar, and the Woodsman looks like a second rate Incredible. Horrible. The background shots vary in quality as well, although watch them closely for a few jokes.
Had this been animated by Pixar, we'd be looking at a great film, instead of a pretty good one.
I give it....a B minus.
I rate films on how much of my money's worth I got out of it.
This was a solid 7.75.

Aaaaarrrgghhh! ALLERGIES!!!

2006-01-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

Here's a puzzling little thing for your consideration.
Why is is that medication which is basically harmless, but extremely useful, so HEAVILY regulated in this idiotic country?
I suffer from some odd allergies in that many chemical things can get me breaking out in the mad itches. Bleach, certain detergents, etc. Pollen, dust, etc, no problem, splash some bleach on my fingers, scratch, scratch, argghhh!!
I also don't do good with pollution. When I lived in California, I took a lot of medication to deal with smog.
Over the years, I tried everything, but it seemed like the best stuff for me was horribly expensive prescription meds.
My best solution was Zyrtec.
30 days supply?
148.99 US.
WTF?
Needless to say, I could rarely afford it, and just had to suffer to the point of lifelong scars on my shins from the frantic. scratching.
THEN I moved to Washington State.
Much less pollution.
Coolness.
Allergies don't act up so much.
Still, every once in awhile, they'll pop up for an encore.
It's still 148.99 though.
Funny though, right after I moved up here, I went to watch my beloved Los Tiburones wax the inefficient clowns known as the Vancouver Canucks in Vancouver BC. I took two days to wander about, and one of the places I stopped in was a Shopper's Drug Mart.
What's this?
Same drug, different name, and it's over the counter?
Nah, can't be.
It is.
Gotta be brutally expensive, though.
13.99 CANADIAN for a 30 day supply.
And this is the "brand name" stuff, called Reactine up there.
Shopper's Drug Mart also has their "generic" brand.
10.99 for the same amount?
I stock up.
Two years before, I was in a horrible car accident.
I was hit from behind while sitting at a light by a guy doing 60.
I was messed up to say the least.
Even after it was determined there was no serious damage to me, I still had a shitload of bruises, bumps, stiffness, etc.
Even with my chiropractor (hi, Dr. Larry!), I was gonna be pretty trashed for awhile, so the regular docs gave me some Methocarbomol, it's a muscle relaxant.
59.99 for a two week supply.
Well, guess what?
In Canada, it's called Robaxecet, and it's over the counter, too.
There's even generics of it.
18.99 Canadian for a three MONTH supply.

What the fuck is wrong with this nation?
Useful, safe medications cost more than ten times what they cost elsewhere, and you have to have a prescription for it?
And don't EVEN give me George W's bullshit about how they might not be safe, Canada is many things, but an unsanitary nation of 2nd rate hacks isn't one of them.
The medications are virtually identical.
One costs and arm and a leg in the "Land of the Free".
The other is reasonably priced and available with no hassle.
And for some reason, every Shopper's Drug Mart I've been to has at LEAST five hot girls working there.

Ooooh Canada.....my home and adopted land....

The Cat Is Trying to Kill Me...I Swear!

2006-01-20T13:00:00.000-08:00

I own (Ha!) two small furry terrorists. Their names are George and Stumpy Pete. NO, George is not named after the great unwashed bastard who sits in unearned splendor at 1600 Pensyvania Ave. He's named after George Harrison, he's jet black, and the "Dark Horse" name of Harrison's record label made me think of it. Stumpy Pete, well, here's a shot of the little monster:

The stumpy part came because he's got about an inch of a tail. He and his brothers and sisters were found on I90 after some asshole tossed them in a sack out of the car while going down the freeway.
(NOTE TO WHOEVER DID THAT- If I EVER find you, I will kick your ass seven ways to Sunday!)
Ahem, yes, Pete's tail didn't survive but the rest of him came out fine.
He's nuts. He'll sit there and cry his little heart out because he's not being petted, and then two seconds later, he's trying to remove George's throat. He's also a serious 'nip addict. Hard core junkie.
Why and how is he trying to kill me?
The why is unknown to me, the how is getting creative for a cat.
1)The easiest way for a feline to kill a human is the ol' "trip 'em while they're carrying stuff", if not a broken leg, they at least wreck the groceries. He's REAL good at this.
2)The "leap when they ain't lookin'" bit. Yes, when I stagger out in the morning sans caffiene, a 13 pound cat attempting to land on my head is a GREAT wake up. Of course his balance is shot so he flicks the claws in a vain attempt to hang on. Oooh yes. Bactine and Bandaids to go with breakfast! Some times he waits too long before he tries it, and I'm ready for him.
Now does he want to injure me doing this?
No.
He wants to sit with me on my shoulder.
When he was a 13 ounce kitten it was fine.
Now it's kinda tricky.
It's kind of startling, but not too bad.
3)"Can I give my human a heart attack"? This one takes some setup. He waited the other day until I'd gotten my cereal and milk all set, and had sat down to read the paper.
Now George will usually just yowl and yip a bit in the morning, and Pete gives me a few cries.
There's George....being cool and trying to fit underneath my computer desk's shelf.
Where's Pete?
A quick glance to the sofa.
Not there.
The food bowl?
No.
He didn't go into the fireplace, did HE?
No.
Hmmmm...where is the little tyrant?
The windowsill?
Nope.
Hmmm, well, I'll just read my paper and take a spoonful of Peanut Butter Crunch and WHAM!!!
Dipshit has leapt off of the fridge, over my head, and landed with one paw in the cereal, and the other three frantically trying to hold on.
You ever had a cat exploding out of your cereal before?
I haven't.
Heart rate?
About 283 beats a second.

How much can I get for an ordinary housecat for medical experiments?
I can pay them if needed.

FAKE STEAK????

2006-01-19T11:38:00.000-08:00

I'm mostly vegetarian, not for any animal issues, just because the lower fat, cholesterol, etc. are healthier for you.
They've got some wonderful stuff out there now.
Boca's Chik'n Nuggets taste pretty good, as do their various hamburger types.
Morningstar Farms has some good chicken stuff to, but they recently introduced two grilled type strips, one chicken, and the other steak. You can use them in stir fry, fajitas, etc. I loved the chicken, but was hesitant to to try the steak as I didn't eat much beef other than burgers anyways.
Hooboy.
Gotta change that now.
Take the steak strips, wrap them in plastic with some diced green peppers and microwave for 50 seconds.
Take a french roll, spread a little butter or margerine on it, toss it on the grill to toast it.
When it's toasted, spread a little mayo, or whatever you prefer on it.
Take the steak strips, they'll be VERY hot. Spread them all over the roll, toss some Swiss cheese on it, toss it back on the grill for a few seconds to melt the cheese and you have...A Faux Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich.
Try it, it's awesome.

Working at the factory, or why am I doing this?

2006-01-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

I'm a graphic designer by trade. It can be a very fun and rewarding job, and I DO get to see things ahead of time when it comes to games, etc. Yesterday though, was one o' them days that can just about drive you bonkers.
One of the services I provide my clients is to "geekspeak" between the final product vendors and myself, thereby .aking my clients life easier. THEY don't know technical art terms and software info, and neither does their client, so I usually get to jump in and resolve minor issues by speaking with the art department. It's usally pretty smooth sailing, and 90% of the time, it's a PC art department that doesn't understand Macintosh compression methods. (DON'T get me started on Mac vs. PC, whatever you do) Yesterday saw me get the phone number from my client for a factory, and I noticed it was an odd set of numbers. "That's because the factory is in Hungary" I'm told.
I call, and I'm fortunate, the person who answers the phone speaks English reasonably well.
Oops. They're not in the art dpeartment. They're in sales.
Can they transfer me?
Sure.
Does the art department speak English?
"He is just speaking a small amount of English"
Wonderful.
Can they help me translate?
No.
Why not?
"He is not speaking much Hungarian, he from Croatia, speaks that."
Does ANYbody there speak Croatian AND English?
"Maybe at embassy."
48 minutes of frustration, and an ungodly phone bill.
Resolved by sending screenshots of the application along with a few simple notes.
Where's the vodka?
The day ACTUALLY went downhill from there.
My best friend in the world called.
"What are you doing?"
Just working on some art.
"What kind of art?"
You really, really, don't want to know.
"No, come on, tell me. I really want to know. Give me the details!"
She asked for this.
I'm currently using Photoshop to airbrush Supergirl's crotch.
Click.
Doesn't anyone trust me when I tell them they don't want to know?
And it wasn't anything dirty, I was using a drawing of Supergirl and Superman to create a silhouette of two superhero types. Her, um, crotch area needed to be cleaned up just a bit as my scan wasn't perfect.
Jeez.

The part time gig wasn't any fun either.
I get to be a shift lead as I'm an adult, but why can't the kids actually listen to direction?
Is wearing proper pants and a belt that hard?
Apparently it is.
They gotta wear pants that are hanging around their asses.
Just what restaurant customers like to see!
Then one of my nitiwits shows up with his shirt sleeve rolled up.
He just got a tattoo and it "itches really bad if I leave the sleeve down"
Get over it, chuckles.
SOMEhow, later in the evening I "accidentally" slapped him on the arm and told him he'd done a good job.
Oooh, what that the arm that you JUST had the tattoo done on?
My bad.
Really.

I was wrong, so wrong...at least on Saturday....

2006-01-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

I confess. I was flat out wrong about New England and Washington. The Skins did shut down Shaun Alexander, but couldn't get their creaking offense in gear. Time to retool the O. The Pats, ah, well, they just decided a playoff game was a good place to start falling apart!! Arrggh! And to lose to the Broncos? Ick. Ewww.
Sunday was a different story, Pittsburgh's D did exactly what I figured, put the pressure on Manning early, and wow, he can't handle it. Another big choke effort by the team that three weeks ago everyone was saying might be the best team that's ever played.
FACT: Manning blows it every time the game is on the line. And the incredibly overrated and overpriced kicker? Niiiiice choke.
PIttsburgh won by....3. As I predicted.
Chicago's inexperience did kill them as the D did a good job in keeping the Panthers in sight, but their O was so flat and Grossman's lack of games just killed them. Smith a is a one man wrecking crew of a reciever though, ain't he?
REVISED PICKS:
Pittsburgh once again gets by on killer D in Denver, and leaves the Mile High city with travel plans to Detroit. Not by much, once again, close one, 6 or less.
Carolina gives the Seaturkeys way more than Washington could, and their D gets a big game, and they too, leave Seattle with plans to hit the Motor City. Panthers by 6.
SUPERBOWL:
Pittsburgh's D teaches Carolina the finer points of shutting down a team, while their ball control Offense uses the Bus to eat the clock in a low scoring SuperBowl. Pittsburgh wins 17-9 or so, the Bus gets his ring, and hangs up the helmet on a great career. Cowher is FINALLY acknowledged as one of the coaching greats, and no one will say he can't win the big one anymore.
You heard it here!!

Why don't we get Cherry flavored PEZ in the USA?

2006-01-13T15:32:00.000-08:00

Strawberry, orange, lemon.
WTF?
Why can I only get Cherry overseas?
This shit bothers me and keeps me up at night.
So does the list of missing foods.
Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid.
I really dug that flavor.
The bastards.
The ORIGINAL Chicken Sandwich at Carls. Jr.
On the French roll.
It was killer.
The current one sucks.
Marathon Candy Bars. Reggie Bars. Freakies Cereal.
Vanilla Crunch. Fruit Brute (companion cereal to Count Chocula and Frankenberry).
Where'd they go?
At least I can still buy Quisp!
www.quisp.com
And holy shit, why do they have to keep coming up with new flavors of Pop Tarts?
I'll only eat Brown Sugar/Cinnamon and Strawberry.
I give less than a shit about Darth Vader flavored PopTarts.
And why isn't there Grape Nehi Soda anymore?
I'd even settle for Grape Fanta.
But nooo...we have to stock the shelves with 83 varieties of Mountain Dew.
Does this shit bother anyone else, or am I even more disturbed than the average person?
Let me know, willya?

These guys freaking rock!

2006-01-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

www.okgo.net
If you like your rock with a dose of humour, and a shitload of hooks, check these guys out. The video for A Million Ways will have you laughing your ass off before you notice you're dancing your ass off. On tour NOW!!!

NFL Predictions, or go Skins!

2006-01-13T09:05:00.000-08:00

Ugh. The people up here are all in a frenzy as their beloved Seaturkeys get ready for a playoff game at Kotex PantyShield Field™, or whatever the current corporate whoring of the stadium name is. These people are delusional. One MVP and a loser QB does not make a SuperBowl contender. Plus the coach is a jackass. They go up against the Redskins. SuperBowl winning coach? Check. Three wins with three different QB's. Fearsome defense? Check. LaVar Arrington, a certified destroyer of running backs and passing games. Great offense? Check. They had a rough go last week, but Clinton Portis is no bum, and Mark Brunnell can win big games. Seaturkeys? SuperBowl winning coach? Um, yeah, Brett Favre won one by being a brilliant QB, Holmgren had little to do with it. Defense? No, not really, if they all decide to play, they can maybe make the Skins work harder, but they aren't going to be able to stop them entirely. Besides, Ray Rhode's defenses always come apart in the playoffs. Offense? Other than Shaun Alexander? No, not really. Hasselbeck sucks in pressure situations. Despite a pair of Penn State recievers, they can't be very effective when their QB hits them in the back of the helmet. Face it, if Alexander wasn't on this team, and they played in a real division instead of the Pansies of the NFC West, they'd be 3-13.
Skins by 7.
Word.
Pats vs. Broncos
The Patriots will destroy the Broncos in Denver, because cold weather doesn't exactly faze the Pats. Besides, the Pats are peaking at the right time.
Pats by 10.
Carolina vs. Chicago
This is a tough matchup, both teams are pretty good, but both of them can suck big time. Chigaco has gotten a lot of mileage with a strong defense, but Carolina isn't exactly a bunch of pansies on D, while Chicago's offense isn't a powerhouse. I think Chicago's inexperience kills them.
Carolina by 7.
Pittsburgh vs. Indianapolis
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Peyton's great, and so are the rest of them, and we should all feel sorry for Tony Dungy, blah, blah, blah. BFD. Manning has choked in every single game that means anything. Win a SuperBowl? He needs to win an AFC Championship first, and he's never done it. Besides, Pittsburgh loves to ruin other people's seasons. How can Pittsburgh pull it off? The Bus wants a title so he can retire. Big Ben wants to prove himself to the world. Cowher isn't the most veteran coach because he's stupid. Nope, Pittsburgh can win, if all goes right and they don't make any mistakes. Their D needs to hammer Manning and get him out of his rythym. Blitz. Lots of them. Knock Manning on his ass five or six times, and the game is yours. Sic him.
Pittsburgh by a whisker, 3 or less.

Next round:
Pittsburgh upsets the Pats in Foxboro by 6.
Carolina knocks off Washington by 3.
Pittsburgh wins it all.

I think I need to build an ark

2006-01-13T08:57:00.000-08:00

I took a vacation recently. When I left on the 16th on December, the snow we'd gotten had started to turn to rain. It hasn't stopped raining since. All of the creeks and rivers are just about to flood. I'll be fine, living on the second floor as I do, but it's not going to be easy on a lot of people if we do get flooding here. Almost a month straight of rain. Torrential downpours in California for the last few weeks. You don't think this might be anything to do with global warming, do you?
Nah, couldn't be, right?
After all, George says that it's all just nonsense.
Scientists and climatologists don't know as much as he does, right?
Not that I have anything against the other people in Crawford Texas, but jeez, I'd love to see a Biblical level flood strike Crawford, right after the wildfires torch most of it off the map. Then have the scientists explain global warming to the shithead again.
That'd be nice.
Maybe the Kyoto deal would finally get adhered to.

I'm bummed. I feel unloved.

2006-01-12T10:35:00.000-08:00

I know it's not true, but I feel that way when work gets slow. There's a huge show this week in the promotional products industry, and pretty much all of my customers are there, ie, they're not sending me any work. It's not me, but I get that way as a result of clinical depression. Yep. I'm one of the folks that suffers from depression. You know someone who suffers from it, I'm sure. Everyone does. Do you understand what it's like though? Imagine the worst thing that ever happened to you, a death in the family, a natural disaster, getting dumped, etc. Then imagine that feeling overtaking you when there is absolutely nothing wrong in your life. You could have just won the lottery and feel horrible. Medication helps many people, but millions more go without. There is no control for them, they bounce from highs to lows, often in the space of a single day, sometimes they stay on the highs, and sometimes the lows seem to last forever. Not an easy thing to deal with. The next time you see someone who is having a tough time of it, maybe a little compassion would help.
For me, I'm just keeping busy, working on some silly-ass blog and making the house all sparkly clean.
Clean? No, not OCD Monk style clean, just tidy. Does my depression mean there's any other stuff LIKE OCD in my life? No. I am pretty compulsive though about certain things, though. 99% of the places I eat know exactly what I'm going to order before I order it. I don't like to change too much in that regard. My routines stay pretty much the same in lots of my life, too. If a job comes up with a huge rush and a tight deadline, I can't get going until I've programmed iTunes with some music. I know I'm killing five minutes choosing what to listen to, but I can't get rolling until I have music. I'll listen to the same CD in the car for three or four days. When I go to bed, I eat a packet of fruit snacks while reading. If I don't, I don't sleep as well. I have to read before bed, too, even if it's a few pages only. I took the OCD test on a website and it said I showed slight tendencies. Wonderful.

Welcome to my world!

2006-01-12T10:26:00.000-08:00

Howdy! You've reached the semi-coherent ramblings of the 30-something graphic designer who lives in the wilds of Washington State.
What will I talk about? Anything I bloody well please. And that entails? Music. Movies. Work. Apple Computers. Hot chicks. My psychotic cats. The NHL. The NFL. Misery. Depression. My laughable love life. My quest for American made goods. My desire to someday be a Canadian.
Deal with it.