I'm bummed. I feel unloved.

I know it's not true, but I feel that way when work gets slow. There's a huge show this week in the promotional products industry, and pretty much all of my customers are there, ie, they're not sending me any work. It's not me, but I get that way as a result of clinical depression. Yep. I'm one of the folks that suffers from depression. You know someone who suffers from it, I'm sure. Everyone does. Do you understand what it's like though? Imagine the worst thing that ever happened to you, a death in the family, a natural disaster, getting dumped, etc. Then imagine that feeling overtaking you when there is absolutely nothing wrong in your life. You could have just won the lottery and feel horrible. Medication helps many people, but millions more go without. There is no control for them, they bounce from highs to lows, often in the space of a single day, sometimes they stay on the highs, and sometimes the lows seem to last forever. Not an easy thing to deal with. The next time you see someone who is having a tough time of it, maybe a little compassion would help.
For me, I'm just keeping busy, working on some silly-ass blog and making the house all sparkly clean.
Clean? No, not OCD Monk style clean, just tidy. Does my depression mean there's any other stuff LIKE OCD in my life? No. I am pretty compulsive though about certain things, though. 99% of the places I eat know exactly what I'm going to order before I order it. I don't like to change too much in that regard. My routines stay pretty much the same in lots of my life, too. If a job comes up with a huge rush and a tight deadline, I can't get going until I've programmed iTunes with some music. I know I'm killing five minutes choosing what to listen to, but I can't get rolling until I have music. I'll listen to the same CD in the car for three or four days. When I go to bed, I eat a packet of fruit snacks while reading. If I don't, I don't sleep as well. I have to read before bed, too, even if it's a few pages only. I took the OCD test on a website and it said I showed slight tendencies. Wonderful.