USA! USA! USA! Uh....no, not this year
Well, golly gee whiz Wally, the USA choked out in hockey over in Turin.
I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm not. (Canada stunk up the joint too, so they get no slack in this rant, sorry, my Canuck brethren) We sent a bunch of old guys over to play on the biggest stage in the world. This was it, the almighty OLYMPICS, and we sent old bums, washed up hacks, and nobody of any RECENT accomplishments.
I heard lots about how it was so and so's last chance to win a gold medal.
Pardon me, I'm going to be blunt here.
Ready?
WHO THE FUCK CARES????
We sent Chris Chelios, who is approaching his 67th birthday, Mike (The Crybaby) Modano, who hasn't been a significant player since about '99, Robert (The Sieve) Esche, Bret (I'm still here 'cause I married Kristy Yamaguchi) Hedican & Derian (The Benchwarmer) Hatcher, all washed up, none of them major contributors in the NHL, and THEY got to wear the Red White & Blue and fold like a cheap suit?
What a fucking disgrace.
I know every one of these old farts wants to hang on to some glory, and get to wear that medal proudly, but they never could, and they never will, because they lack something that Eruzione, Broten, Craig, Suter, and the rest of those proud boys from Lake Placid had.
Class.
Determination.
Teamwork.
Herb Brooks was honest when he said he needed guys that were too dumb to know they couldn't win. They just went out onto the ice and played their hearts out, gave 110% on every shift, and beat the entire world.
They stayed together, they ate together, they had each other, and no one else. They were the nobodies, the kids, and they never had a chance, but when it came time to gutcheck it, they delivered in spades. And not just to Team USA fans, they delivered the game to a new level, whoa, hockey was on TV again, it was cool, and when these kids took to the ice in the NHL, people came out to watch.
The clowns we sent were already IN the NHL.
They were supposed to be better than those college kids could ever be.
But they have too much to deal with, Modano bitched about having to deal with hotel accommodations. I'm sorry, Mike, but if you had stayed in the Village (you know, like the common people do), instead of needing to have 4 star room service and a broadband connection so you can check your stock portfolio, you might have spent a little, oh, I dunno, TIME with your teammates? Maybe skated together more than ONCE before going out to play? Maybe worked on the ol' teamwork? Gotten your shit together perhaps?
Like the college boys that weren't supposed to be good enough to win did?
Maybe you might have even thought of the TEAM first, instead of your personal inconvenience.
Maybe if you and Chelios and the other bums had said "Hey, we stink these days, if we REALLY want to see the USA wearing gold, maybe we should put the best team together we can, instead of old guys like us?"
But they didn't. It was me first.
Guys, PLEASE take those jerseys off.
You're not fit to wear them.
Now those boys back in 1980, the ones who endured long bus rides,
cramped quarters and early morning practices,
they DESERVED to be Team USA.
They'll always be there in our memories,
young and eager, shining faces charging hard,
giving everything they had for the Red White & Blue.
You're not fit to carry their gear.
I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm not. (Canada stunk up the joint too, so they get no slack in this rant, sorry, my Canuck brethren) We sent a bunch of old guys over to play on the biggest stage in the world. This was it, the almighty OLYMPICS, and we sent old bums, washed up hacks, and nobody of any RECENT accomplishments.
I heard lots about how it was so and so's last chance to win a gold medal.
Pardon me, I'm going to be blunt here.
Ready?
WHO THE FUCK CARES????
We sent Chris Chelios, who is approaching his 67th birthday, Mike (The Crybaby) Modano, who hasn't been a significant player since about '99, Robert (The Sieve) Esche, Bret (I'm still here 'cause I married Kristy Yamaguchi) Hedican & Derian (The Benchwarmer) Hatcher, all washed up, none of them major contributors in the NHL, and THEY got to wear the Red White & Blue and fold like a cheap suit?
What a fucking disgrace.
I know every one of these old farts wants to hang on to some glory, and get to wear that medal proudly, but they never could, and they never will, because they lack something that Eruzione, Broten, Craig, Suter, and the rest of those proud boys from Lake Placid had.
Class.
Determination.
Teamwork.
Herb Brooks was honest when he said he needed guys that were too dumb to know they couldn't win. They just went out onto the ice and played their hearts out, gave 110% on every shift, and beat the entire world.
They stayed together, they ate together, they had each other, and no one else. They were the nobodies, the kids, and they never had a chance, but when it came time to gutcheck it, they delivered in spades. And not just to Team USA fans, they delivered the game to a new level, whoa, hockey was on TV again, it was cool, and when these kids took to the ice in the NHL, people came out to watch.
The clowns we sent were already IN the NHL.
They were supposed to be better than those college kids could ever be.
But they have too much to deal with, Modano bitched about having to deal with hotel accommodations. I'm sorry, Mike, but if you had stayed in the Village (you know, like the common people do), instead of needing to have 4 star room service and a broadband connection so you can check your stock portfolio, you might have spent a little, oh, I dunno, TIME with your teammates? Maybe skated together more than ONCE before going out to play? Maybe worked on the ol' teamwork? Gotten your shit together perhaps?
Like the college boys that weren't supposed to be good enough to win did?
Maybe you might have even thought of the TEAM first, instead of your personal inconvenience.
Maybe if you and Chelios and the other bums had said "Hey, we stink these days, if we REALLY want to see the USA wearing gold, maybe we should put the best team together we can, instead of old guys like us?"
But they didn't. It was me first.
Guys, PLEASE take those jerseys off.
You're not fit to wear them.
Now those boys back in 1980, the ones who endured long bus rides,
cramped quarters and early morning practices,
they DESERVED to be Team USA.
They'll always be there in our memories,
young and eager, shining faces charging hard,
giving everything they had for the Red White & Blue.
You're not fit to carry their gear.
posted by Dunnyman's Castle at 10:43 PM
3 Comments:
Amen Hallejuia and all of that craziness! The Canadians i actually sort of expected something from - they were a colossal letdown - these NHL guys don't belong over there - they aren't hungry enough. Look at the goddamn Canadian weomen - there's a fucking winning team! And my boy Brad Gushue takin it to the goddamn gold medal round in Curling! He was happy just to be going, and his mom was diagnosed with Cancer immediately after he and his guys sealed the olympic deal - that has to be bittersweet ;( I'd love to see Gushue take the gold - the guy deserves it. And i for one would love to get up on the sopabox and scream at the top of my lungs that it was newfoundland that earned one of those Shiny golds! Makes up for that Albertan chick stealing Canadian Idol away from local boy Rex Goudie (who's debut album is nominated for 2 Junos! In yer face Calgary!)
And i'm rambling incoherently, and no one knows what the hell i'm talking about anymore... Curling? What's a curling?
Cheers!
I've yet to understand the sport of curling.
Apparently being born in a city with an average temperature in 70's means you cannot understand or follow the game.
You Canucks are weird.
But I was to emigrate, would I suddenly understand the sport?
You ever play that little shuffleboard game they have in pool halls?
Same deal! :)
Slide yer rocks down the ice, closest to the center after all stones are thrown takes this "end" and scores a point. You play 9 ends, one with the most points at the end of nine wins the game. The sweepers and such are there to smooth the ice surface and direct the stone without actually touching it. deceptively simple no?
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