Why you wanna REMAKE a classic?
On the Verdict, I spotted the news that the classic Ingrid Bergman film, Gaslight, is going to be remade.
WHY?
Is Hollywood, that bastion of new, and inventive ideas going to find an actress as beautiful and talented as Bergman?
No.
Can't be done.
She was one of a kind.
Will they at least maintain the spooky Victorian London setting?
Nah, it'll be set in Hollywood or Beverly Hills.
(Just so they can claim it's a "reimagining" of the original, mind you)
It'll be filled with lame-ass quick cuts, third rate talent, and won't be one TENTH as spooky as the original was.
They'll have to have a "cool" soundtrack, so we can listen to some wretched band of hacks who are currently enjoying more fame and success than they'll ever deserve.
It'll be on video shelves within two months of stinking up the screen at our local multiplexes.
And then, after it's been declared a complete disaster, some jack-ass in Hollywood will bitch once again, "It's all the fault of kids downloading movies!"
Ahem.
Mr. Executive?
Could it possibly the fact that you're putting out pure, grade-A, 100% crap?
Is there a possibility that your sinking profits could be a result of your poor choices?
I saw a TON of flicks last year.
Horror. Comedy. Drama. Chick flicks (hey, you get dragged to them some times).
I saw many a "blockbuster" flick.
Every single one of them was mediocre at best.
In 2005, I saw ONE film, one film only that blew me away with it's originality, it's cleverness, and the gosh darned fun I had watching it.
It was Wallace and Gromit-Curse of the WereRabbit.
The finale to Star Wars, Harry Potter, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, King Kong, big box office numbers, but Hollywood still claimed things were going bad.
Maybe if there were 50 movies as good as Wallace & Gromit?
I mean, it's just a suggestion.
WHY?
Is Hollywood, that bastion of new, and inventive ideas going to find an actress as beautiful and talented as Bergman?
No.
Can't be done.
She was one of a kind.
Will they at least maintain the spooky Victorian London setting?
Nah, it'll be set in Hollywood or Beverly Hills.
(Just so they can claim it's a "reimagining" of the original, mind you)
It'll be filled with lame-ass quick cuts, third rate talent, and won't be one TENTH as spooky as the original was.
They'll have to have a "cool" soundtrack, so we can listen to some wretched band of hacks who are currently enjoying more fame and success than they'll ever deserve.
It'll be on video shelves within two months of stinking up the screen at our local multiplexes.
And then, after it's been declared a complete disaster, some jack-ass in Hollywood will bitch once again, "It's all the fault of kids downloading movies!"
Ahem.
Mr. Executive?
Could it possibly the fact that you're putting out pure, grade-A, 100% crap?
Is there a possibility that your sinking profits could be a result of your poor choices?
I saw a TON of flicks last year.
Horror. Comedy. Drama. Chick flicks (hey, you get dragged to them some times).
I saw many a "blockbuster" flick.
Every single one of them was mediocre at best.
In 2005, I saw ONE film, one film only that blew me away with it's originality, it's cleverness, and the gosh darned fun I had watching it.
It was Wallace and Gromit-Curse of the WereRabbit.
The finale to Star Wars, Harry Potter, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, King Kong, big box office numbers, but Hollywood still claimed things were going bad.
Maybe if there were 50 movies as good as Wallace & Gromit?
I mean, it's just a suggestion.
posted by Dunnyman's Castle at 12:53 AM
3 Comments:
And the problem I have with the remake is that it revolved around the Victorian age 'gas lighting' dimming throughout the evening which Charles Boyer claimed never happened - starting Ingrid's long, slow, tortuous descent in madness. I mean there is no frigging gas lights in sunny California... what are they goign to do, have the gas fireplace dim? Maybe the hot tub will get suddently chilly.
I mean why call it a remake when really all they are going to do is make a movie about a husband who marries under false pretentions in order to scam the bride from her unknown fortune. In doing so, he will use psychological means to mess with her mind and bring her to the brink of insanity, only to be captured short of his victory.
Doesn't that sound similar to that Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford flick, What Lies Beneath?
Indeed, but they need to cash in on the "remake" tag. If they call the movie Head Games no one's gonna bother with it.
So ruin a perfectly good name to make a movie that's going to be pure shite.
With you 100% on Wallace and Gromit. If it doesn't get the Oscar for Best Animated Film, I'm gonna hurt somebody.
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