and the rest of you USA athletes?

You're no prizes either!
Ooohh, the big bad Bode Miller, he of the, um, well, failure in pretty much everything he was supposed to do?
You had 97 magazine covers going in, and choked on everything?
Loser.
Apolo Anton Ohno?
Oooh, a BRONZE medal.
Christ, YOKO Ono could have done better than that.
Speed skating? Shani Miller and Chad Hedrick, seeing which one can be the bigger prima donna?
Oooh classy.
At least the snowboarders came through for us.
Thank God for punk kids who listen to the Offspring, eh?
So far USA:
18 medals, and 216 athletes
Austria, 19 medals, 101 athletes
Norway, 18 medals, 84 athletes
Jeez, we're sad looking out there.
Well, we'll hang our hats on little Sasha Cohen, and if she comes through, she'll get a Wheaties box.
Right before she cashes in for every penny she can get out of it, and throws the medal underneath the bed, never to be seen again as she gets ready for her starring role on a shitty FOX reality show.
God, I miss Bonnie Blair.