Craptacular Classic of the Week!!!

Hey hey, I'm back with one truly shitty-ass movie to mock, pick on, and kick when it's down.
I'm mean like that.
We have Cemetary Gates!
"A mutated Tasmanian Devil is 'rescued' by two eco-activists and escapes near an abandoned cemetary where a group of students are filming a zombie movie", that's the summary from the back of the box, and I HAD to rent this.
Let's see, dumb college students who get stoned while making a shitty student film? Got 'em.
Scientist sans a clue? Got him.
Minimum of three hot chicks? Got 'em.
Incredibly horribly cheap FX.
Oooohhh....yeeeeaaahhh.
144 gallons of food coloring and ketchup to cover up the fact that good fake blood ain't cheap?
They got it.
Actually, that's not entirely fair.
The blood is pretty extensive, but when you have a monster with huge claws savaging human flesh, there should be more than just blood. We see it spurting everywhere, but we don't see actual wounds on the people, one scene has the monster literally just rubbing his paws on a guy and you can clearly see they make no actual contact, but the blood is flying.
THIS is the kind of film making that gets noticed in the Craptacular Classics!
We also get a lot of (I'm sorry, a whole freaking shitload of) off camera mayhem, with bodies flying back into camera after being ripped up by the beast.
Nothing like off camera gore, eh?
Just to make this film interesting, they give us a semi-Deliverance family of rednecks (I'm sorry, Appalachian-Americans), who are plotting to steal the cameras, a couple of old hippies who go out to "see what the animals see", (their hallucination is ANIMATED! bwahahahahaahahaha!), a bicycle rider, and a couple of passerby who also get mutilated.
Kind of busy for an abandoned cemetary, no?
Then...the BEAST!
Looks like a set of fake paws/claws, a head piece, and then all we see is a guy hunched over on all fours wearing some bad shag carpet in the distance shots.
But WAIT!
There's some deep meaning here, it seems the student making the film, is the son of the scientist, and the mutated monster was a family pet....named...are you ready for this?........Precious.
Folks, it's gotta be...

A FOUR FLUSHER!!!!!
It might have been improved if the other two chicks had gotten nekkid. The other scientist was hot, with huge knockers.