WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUNG PEOPLE?

Been awhile since my last post, but life just gets in the way of blogging sometimes.
At the part time gig, I deal with a lot of young people.
16-20 years is the average if you toss out the old geezer (me).
Lately, I swear that every damn one of them has a problem.
ADD
ADHD
OCD
and a whole list of other issues.
Why is this?
Is the human gene pool breaking down?
No.
Is the human species evolving?
Yes, but not like that.
I'm pretty sure I know where the problem is.
THE PARENTS.
Yep, folks, it's YOUR FAULT.
You know how you smoked the 70's away, snorted your way through the 80's & dropped X through the 90's?
Boy, those were some good times, eh?
Fucked up, stoned, wasted, blown out of your minds?
It ruined your kids.
So now we have a whole generation of kids that are pretty much worthless.
Because they need to be medicated constantly to handle their ailments.
Because YOU had to get wasted.
Thank you, ever so much for foisting off a large group of idiots on me.
I appreciate it.
When I say idiots, I'm not joking, either.
One of them is really into smoking.
He just loves them Black and Milds.
Can't get enough of them.
His father died at 38.
Of lung cancer.
Thank god my folks were straight arrows.
No weed, no coke, no nothing.
I'm clean as a whistle, too.
And MY kids will be in charge of yours someday because of it.
The meek?
Bullshit, the sober and smart will inherit the earth.
The incredibly fucked up will be cheap labor.
Mwuahahahahaha!

It's 3:09 AM, why am I still awake?

Insomnia's an odd one to figure out.
Is there something on my mind?
Bills? No. Paid up this month.
Work? No. Going OK.
Relationship? Ha. As if I had one to fret over.
Nope, 3:09 AM, wide awake....and blogging.
Can I take something?
Sure.
I don't mind being a zombie in the morning.
Or beating my alarm clock with a hockey stick to shut it off, before I angrily go back to sleep.
I've always been a night owl though.
Maybe it goes back to the old days of clubbing.
Staggering in around 4 AM, pissed out of my mind.
Collapsing in a heap.
Gritting the teeth to get through the workday.
Swearing to yourself that all you need is an hour's sleep, and you're fine.
Deciding to head for home, have a nice meal, and get a good night's sleep.
Whazzup?
WHO's playing WHERE?
I am so there.
I'll just have a beer, maybe two, and no more.
Tsk, tsk, and it starts all over again.

Do human heads get bigger naturally?

Well, I really don't think so.
Look at Barry Bonds as a rookie.
Look at him recently.
A new book is coming out soon with some pretty credible evidence that Bonds knowingly, and frequently used steroids in an effort to catch Mark McGwire.
I just ask you to look.
Do human heads go through growth spurts in your late 30's?
They do if steroids are involved.
Is his record tainted?
Yes.
YES.
YES!!!!
They may not have been banned until 2002, but Barry cheated.
So did McGwire, for that matter.
I don't care one way or other about the rules, and if it was against them or not at the time.
Roger Maris didn't do steroids.
He worked hard.
He played by the rules.
He played fair.
And now this steroid freak has the record that rightfully belongs to Roger.
Bonds is chasing the all time home run record, too.
That's currently owned by Hammering Hank Aaron.
THE man.
He played fair, too.
He worked damned hard to get it.
He had to face racism and other assorted bullshit to get it, too.
And his record is about to be broken by the same steroid freak?
The guy who lists Willie Mays as his Godfather, and we all know Willie was a straight shooter.
The guy who's father played many a year in the Majors, and never cheated.
And this...punk, who shoots up to get his muscle, is gonna own all of the records?

Dear Bud Selig,
If you do nothing else, please rectify this situation.
Pro sports are a joke.
No one believes in our athletes anymore, because of people like Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds and Rafael Palmerio.
Do the right thing.
Strike their records from the books.
Let us still believe in Roger Maris, the Babe and Hammering Hank.
They did it with heart, skill and guts.
These new guys just cheat.
Let the good guys win, and let the bad guys get what they deserve.

A musical collaboration worth waiting for!

Under the Covers- Matthew Sweet & Susannah Hoffs

The record company originally wanted to market this under the name Sid n' Suzie, but wisely decided to capitalize on the names of these two, beign that they both have pretty solid reps in the music biz.
Good call.
Even better record.
This duo came about via the Austin Powers movies where both Hoffs and Sweet performed in the brief musical clips.
Luckily for us, they decided to keep working together.
No originals on this, just covers, but my, oh, my, are they some well chosen and brilliantly executed covers.
Absolutely NO ONE should be surprised by a Beatles song popping up here, they tackle And My Bird Can Sing and make it their own. Hoffs effortlessly delivers the lead vocal, while Sweet chimes in on the bridge, and it sounds perfect. Sweet wisely uses his usual cast of bandmates (Ric Menck, Greg Liesz, etc) and they make a statement for power pop. Clean, razor sharp hooks, harmonies, and the ENTHUSIASM they all show make this record a classic. You can tell if a performer really cares about their material, and there is no doubt that this bunch is in seventh heaven covering these classics. They jump all over hits like Monday Monday, Different Drum (Hoffs can't match Linda's pipes, but the backing is killer), and Neil Young's Cinnamon Girl and the results just sound soooo good.
This hits the shelves on April 18th, and if the 15th doesn't leave you in too bad of shape, pick it up.
It's perfect for a warm spring afternoon....

Craptacular Classic of the Week! #2

Sorry for the delay in posting, real life can be a bitch at times.
Ahem.
This week's ....special film is the truly awful Flesh Eating Mothers.

Yep, that's the title.
It's baaaaad.
Reeeeaaaallllly bad.
However, it's so bad, it's pretty good in spots.
The plot: The small town stud who's getting pretty much all the women actually is...
aggghhh, transmitting a virus! Luckily for the flick fans, it's not just some random STD,
it's....a virus that makes women devour their children.
Yeah. Right.
On the horribly insane plot scale, I give it a solid 10.
Someone actually sold this idea.
One kid comes home to find...Mom has eaten his baby brother.
Another is let out of his room early from being punished, and Mom tells him all about how veal is made.
While giving him a glass of milk.
Then she bites his forehead.
The kids are determined to not go without a fight.
Good for them.
We get scintillating dialogue like:
"Okay, you lure her out of the house, and I'll hit her over the head with a baseball bat."
"OK, but be careful, she's still my mother."
Turns out the virus is a mutant space virus.
How do we know this?
They show it!
On a microscope!
And it's...animated.
Very poorly, I might add.
Hilarious.
No one can act, the FX are bargain basement, the script is just wretched, and the director does not appear to have the skills neccessary to shoot a z-grade commercial, let alone a feature film.
Damnit though, it's FUN.
We're in on the joke.
The actors know it's crap.
Everyone knows it's crap.
Not a bad way to kill 90 minutes.
and it gets......