This is actually pretty good!

No Craptacular Classic this week! I honestly expected this flick to suck,
simply because Uwe Boll has made all German directors look like crap.
(I beg of you Dr. Boll, please stop making movies, you really have no aptitude for it!)
Wolfgang Buld, on the other hand, might be pretty good one of these days.
Twisted Sisters tells the tale of Jennifer, a sweet, kind and charming young lady
who is very much in love with her boyfriend, and has just found out that she's pregnant.
The only problem is in the opening scene, we see her acting very much unlike that person.
She um, sorta does something pretty horrible to a guy she picks up in a bar.
Why would this nice girl do that?
OK. Fess up that you figured this one out.
What? You didn't? You're shitting me, right?
It's HER TWIN! DUH-DUH-DUH!!
Yep, Jennifer's folks fess up that she's a twin, and adopted, and it looks like sis is stark raving bonkers.
Jennifer is accused of her crimes, but it all plays out pretty nicely, with some good FX,
and a solid if unexceptional cast. The script isn't perfect, but I'll give Buld a pass as English might
not be his first language, and a few lines are kind of clunky. Fiona Horsey plays the girls, and the scenes
where they are together are very well done, Buld pulls it all off with a body double and some really good editing. Fiona however, is one radiant and seriously smokingly hot young lady.
Someone cast her in something other than a low budget European film, and watch her make a name for herself.
Now the whole twins gig has been done to death, and plotwise, this is nothing special, but it's done with enthusiasm and competently shot with some nice angles, lighting, etc.
No flushers, damn, give this thing two stars.....let's see what Buld comes up with next, and as he has worked with Fiona
Horsey several times, let's hope she's along for the ride.

I am in SERIOUS pain....

You know the old saw "No good deed goes unpunished"?
I decided to be a sport and help someone move Saturday.
"No, here, let ME get that big heavy box, I'll just grab it and
ARRRGGHHHHHHGGGHHHHEEEAAAGGHHHH!!!!!!! JESUS GODDAMN CHRIST, I
FUCKING TORE MY ARM OFF!!!!"
"Owwwww!!!"
Time for a trip to the doctor.
Nothing broken.
Good.
How bad can it be?
Partial tear of the posterior deltoid.
Huh? In english, doc, I didn't go to med school.
Partially torn shoulder muscle.
Oh shit.
Will it need surgery? (I just got decent medical, I really don't wanna find out what it WON'T cover yet)
No? Good!
How long will I only have one good arm for?
Two to three months?
Shee-it.
Can I use it at work?
Sure!
It'll just be excruciatingly painful.
Lovely.
Heavy duty muscle relaxants, and some really nice pain stuff,
and I feel like a human being.
I'm absolutely useless on Sunday, basically drooling and incoherent, but hey,
that's not far off the norm for me, right?
I come out of the stupor to watch a bit of TV,
get some sleep, wake up stiffer than a....wait, that sounds dirty.
I awake to shoulder stiffness. Much better.
A few pills, and gee, I feel OK, I can even get some work done, even if my mind is wandering
a bit. I make progress! The pain stuff wears off, and it isn't too horrible. Everything's loose,
and I feel a bit wobbly, but no major pain, just a dull ache.
Splendid! Let's go to the part time gig!
Hmm, it all works OK, no heavy lifting, and I'll be fine.
Mind is sharp, no fuzziness, I'm my usual cheerful self.
"What's that miss? The restroom is locked? No, it's unlocked, trust me.
No? Let me take a look, hmm, the handle is turning, so it's not locked, maybe the door's just
a bit stuck, let me just give it a good shove with my shoulder and AAAUUUUGGGHHHHHARRGGHHHH!!!
HOLY MOTHER......GOD!!! I JUST RIPPED MY.....GOSH....DARNED ARM OFF AGAIN!!"
I REALLY hate not being able to cuss up a blue streak when I'm injured.
I typed this into Word, because the auto spell check will fix anything that's off.
That's because the pain pills are kicking in.
Boy howdy, are they working well.
Did they ever give a Nobel Prize to the guy who discovered Vicodin?
They should have.

Color me shocked...not really

You Will Die at Age 58

Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

Holy jumpin' shit!
Then again, the oldest male in my family only made it to 60....I shouldn't be surprised.
I am, however, way over due for my midlife crisis, where's the '69 Camaro and 19 year old girlfriend?

Uh oh....this can't be good....

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

On the other hand....

You Are 64% Sociopath

The good news is that you're devastatingly charming. The bad news? You mostly use those charms for evil!

Are You A Sociopath?

This does not bode well.....I'm predicitng misery and tragedy of some sort....
oh well, not my lookout....hehehehehe!